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am I missing something here?!?

am I missing something here?!?

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  • eds1999 eds1999's Avatar 11-20-07 | 05:07 PM
  • I am a huge ball of emotions. Did you see my post and see that the US is currently OUT of HCG trigger shots? Well I ended up getting one (who knows how). Then the sperm bank called and they're tacking on a surcharge to deliver the specimen by monday 11/26 due to the holidays. Dr's office should have ordered it FRIDAY! Crap.

    I tell you-I have been at my wits end. I have been praying about this every night, asking for signs and wisdome. Did I miss the signs from God here? maybe i should have just quit this cycle!!! What are the odds of this shiznit happening???

    You guys-I think I'm a fertility treatment addict. Seriously. I know that sounds stupid. I am so relaxed when I am not on a TTC cycle, but when its time to start again, its like i just want to try try try. I've been thinking about adoption, but making the decision to QUIT all this business is going to be like kicking a habit! Truth is I want two things-I want to experience pregnancy and I want a family. I think i just need to decide which is more important? I'm a mess.
  • Brendalw Brendalw's Avatar 11-20-07 | 05:39 PM
  • Wow Girl I dont know what to say! BREATH I dont know what its like in your shoes. I know the M/C but i also got 3 great kids.Maybe if you go the adoption way it will relax you. Maybe you will get what you want both ways? Some people get prego after they adopt. You are stressing and you got the right to.
  • eds1999 eds1999's Avatar 11-20-07 | 08:04 PM
  • DH and I can't have kids-he doesn't have any sperm. So for me to get pg, i HAVE to do IUI's or adopt. That's the story of my life.
  • Dopey406 Dopey406's Avatar 11-20-07 | 10:04 PM
  • You CAN have children and you WILL have children, one way or another. Just because your path to parenthood isn't the same as others doesn't mean your little one will be any less loved or cherished.

    I wish I could give you a big hug. I know that feeling of indecision. We had our fourth loss in 12 months today--and the thought of trying again only to lose yet another is gut-wrenching. But I feel so strongly that God has a third baby planned for our family that the means by which we'll have another baby is up in the air right now.

    I hope you'll just take a few deep breaths and start searching your heart for what you really want. I hope you find that and that it brings you a lifetime of happiness.

  • Oreo Oreo's Avatar 11-21-07 | 12:10 AM


    OK -- I'll stop stealing someone else's answer and just share that I know about the fertility addiction. It's not the fertility -- it's the end result and we are all a bit addicted. Longing to love and hold a child is bittersweet at best, especially when the odds are so stacked one way or another.

    Perhaps if you started the adoption inquiries and investigation it would create a new outlet for your addiction and you'd feel more progress.

    Here's a hug for tonight
    and one for tomorrow
    Take a little while and breathe....

    Good Luck!