It's been calm and quiet here for a while.

Sometimes the sadness of a loss comes and goes like waves. Other times you may find it hits you like a brick and you have to think, "where did that come from?"

Either way, I hope you all are finding your way through your losses and healing.

Here's to a wonderful future with the family you have and a family you may yet grow!

I just wanted to to send out a little hug to all of you who have had to visit here!


 

Oreo/Sarah

Thank you Sarah, that was very sweet & thoughtful of you.

I'm doing pretty well, and hope to get BFP next week. AF should be here around the 22nd, so if she doesn't rear her ugly head, I may have good news to share! Other than that, me & Dh have been going through a rough patch, not the greatest time of course, but we've been talking more & I opened up about what has been bothering me so I think we are on the right track.

 

Thank You for the kind words Sarah!
Good Luck Gretchen (sp) hope you see that
 
soon!

I haven't been on in awhile partially bc DH has been home with a broken leg/ankle and had surgery last week, and partially because my conmputer will not let me make new posts.

Last week was one of the worst weeks in my life. Dh had surgery on his leg/ankle on Tues, then Wed I had my "12 week" appointment (I was 11 weeks 2 days) The appoinemtne was going GREAT until they went to look for the heartbeat. She couldn't find it but figured since I have a tilted uterus and I wasn't quite 12 weeks that baby was just "hiding" so she sent me for an u/s. They spent about 5 minutes trying to see even a FLICKER of a heartbeat and found nothing.

Of course my heart sank and I started just bawling. I couldn't even get up off the table to get dressed right away. Dh was there (Thank God!) and did the best he could with broken bones to comfort me. The next couple days were just a blur. Friday I had a D&C and they are going to test the baby again. This time DH and I are most likely going to get tested as well (of course that depends on the results we get back from the baby.) I have no idea how we are going to afford the tests, but DH assures me we will figure it out.

This has been the hardest loss by far. I was SO excited this time, thiungs were measuring AHEAD of schedule, the heartbeat WAS strong. Even the Dr was floored when we coudlnt' find a heartbeat. Seriously though, right now I can't go anywhere or do anything without shedding a tear.

I guess dreams really can come true though, unfortunately. I had a dream near the beginning of this pregnancy that I was having a miscarriage, and then it came true. I wish I'd of had one more like the one DH ahd a day or two before my appointment. He says he dreamed he couldn't go with but that I came home and said everything was going great. It just sucks!