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raging uglies

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  • Oreo Oreo's Avatar 03-28-08 | 09:03 PM
  • Yep -- I caught a case of the raging uglies!!!!

    Jealousy is turning me green -- a coworker who announced her pregnancy as I was going through the ectopic in sept. had a miscarriage later and announced today she is 4 mos. pregnant again.

    Dave is just emotionally shut-down on the entire topic. So, I'm at a loss for a good way to communicate with him right now. i just feel bruised and battered.

    The due date for the ectopic is looming and it's just killing me since I'm past the point of getting pregnant/being pregnant before the due date. I always thought that would be the goal, so I'd have something good coming up to take away the sting on the original due date. I guess the way to describe this is hollow and empty.

    Tommy is really causing trouble being three and willful and defiant and mean at home. Work is a drag and overwhelming. Spring just won't come to the North Country and ....

    Need I go on --- I have a raging case of the uglies!!!
  • Valleygirl Valleygirl's Avatar 03-28-08 | 09:19 PM
  • I am so sorry. I can really relate. My very close friend, who was also a co-worker, and I were due less than a week apart. I lost the baby and she went on to have a very healthy son. While I was happy for her it hurt deeply, especially when I ended up getting pg again and losing again all before the due date. I can't help but feel a sting every time her son has a birthday party, knowing we should be having one too.
    The winter is such a crappy time for you guys up where it seems like it will never get warm again.
    We are here for you, and no matter how green-grouchy-down in the dumps you feel we will love you. And give you a
    because that is what sisters, and that is what we all are here, do.
  • Dopey406 Dopey406's Avatar 03-29-08 | 10:13 AM
  • Ditto.

    I get that way sometimes, too. I visited a friend last night who delivered her fourth son. She announced her prengancy to me when I told her I had lost Laura in September. I told her my baby died and she told me she was 3 months pregnant with her fourth.

    It just sucks. SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS!!
    So far I've passed two of my babies' due dates and I'm coming up on a third soon--then the first one for a second time.
    I know that feeling of wanting something to celebrate instead of something to dread.

    Andy and I had a BIG talk two nights ago and it wasn't pretty but we had the conversation. He had concerns that I'd never have even thought of. So maybe approach Dave and just ask him what he's thinking. Andy told me he was weirded out to tell me because it seemed irrational, but he couldn't help how he was feeling. Fair enough, I guess.

    I think a part of Dave's worry/stress/fear/etc. is that you went through that awful experience and he wants to shield you from that kind of hurt again. He loves you and when you are aching, he aches, too--obviously in a different way but aches nonetheless. Maybe try talking to him about HIM (if he's like Andy, that's his favorite subject anyway
    ) only and not about what you want or how you feel or anything else but how he's feeling. Sometimes I think our guys feel like we're attacking them (and sometimes maybe we are
    ). Approaching him for "information gathering only" might help him feel more like opening up. Just a suggestion and a trick that's worked with Andy.

    I wish I could just give you a real
    right now.

    Spring will officially "spring" soon and maybe that will give you a fresh prespective and fresh start.

    If it doesn't, let's meet for margaritas and daiquiris over dinner, what do you say?
  • eds1999 eds1999's Avatar 03-29-08 | 10:38 AM
  • I feel your pain too Sarah! I would have been having a baby April 7th if it were not for the ectopic in Aug and im past the chance for being pg before then. we just had another failed cycle, but we're keeping at it. we all hate the green monster! hopefully you'll be on spring break soon-I am and we're taking a trip (a very needed trip!)