Baby Corner Logo
Baby Corner Message Board »  »    After a Loss »  

Angel Associations Print Version

Oreo 04-27-08 10:23 PM

Angel Associations
Another just wondering kind of thing --

Do you see random things and associate them with your angels?

For instance -- I got the news about my ectopic in the bathroom on the phone (they called while I was in the shower). I can't be in the bathroom with the phone without that memory triggering.

Sarah McLaughlin's "Arms of the Angels" is also the song I associate with them....

Dopey406 04-27-08 10:28 PM

Mine are different things. For Laura, it's the Peace Lily plant on the mantel that someone brought for me after we lost her in September. For Sam, it's a million things because he was our first loss. For Gabe, it's the play area at the mall because I had to entertain my in-laws on the day I miscarried and we were there. For Joy, it's the ultrasound photo of her that is still in the visor of the van--I feel like I can't take it out of the van. And for Erin, it's Sarah's school fundraiser because the moment I stood up to accept a prize (in front of EVERYONE), I felt her pass out of me and while I was smiling in front of the crowd, I was devastated.

Also, two of our losses have been on back-to-back Thanksgivings, so Thanksgiving this year will HOPEFULLY have a whole new meaning. :xfingers:

Dopey406 04-27-08 10:30 PM

Oh, and I forgot to add that we have a "memory box" on my nightstand that has Sam's name and conception date engraved on it. Inside we keep all of my pregnancy tests, chromosomal analysis reports, cards, letters, notes, a bib, and stuff in there to remind us of our 5 angels. I look at it every day and think of our babies.

Oreo 04-27-08 11:27 PM

Are those things helpful or healing things? :heart:

I'm not sure i could keep some of the tests and such and move forward.

Does your book from me fit in the box?

Dopey406 04-28-08 09:39 AM

Yes, your book fits in the box, but I keep your book in the office next to my computer. It serves the dual purpose of reminding me of my angels and reminding me of you. :heart:

And yeah, it does help me move on. I feel that the babies are a part of our family--we have 7 children, though you can only see two of them in family photos. :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: So throwing away the tests and stuff, to me, would feel like I'm throwing the babies away. It's sometimes the ONLY proof I have that they existed. :( When I'm feeling down, I get the box and thumb through everything. It makes me feel closer to them in a strange, macabre way.