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Does the disappointment ever end? Print Version

alliwantisababy 12-21-09 07:36 PM

Does the disappointment ever end?
I think I need some reassurance. I am 19 years old. I lost my first pregnancy at 12 weeks and had to get a d&c. That was in September when I had my surgery. I have been trying to get pregnant ever since and no luck. It feels so unfair that so many people who are undeserving of a baby get pregnant at the drop of a hat while I sit and wonder if I am even able to have children. It truly is an everyday struggle for me and the grief stays with me everywhere I go. Does anyone have an experience to share or something to give me a bit of hope? Thanks .

momofthreeboyz 12-21-09 09:39 PM

I know its hard to stay positive & I totally understand how hard it is to be happy for others who have no problems. Many vibes being sent to you

cyber hugs

imagine 12-22-09 01:55 AM

I know how you feel. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy also. It was so hard because I had finally gotten pregnant after years of infertility and lots of test and treatments. I took it pretty hard. and It's not something you can just get over. I will never forget the angel I lost and Im sure you wont either. The only good thing that came out of it was that 5 months later after trying again over and over I decided to take a break from all my fertility medicines and believe it or not I conceived my son. he is 2 and a half now. I still feel the loss of the miscarriage and wonder what would have been but I know it must have happened for a reason and I now have my son which I would not have had otherwise.
good luck just stay positive.

Oreo 12-22-09 11:43 PM

Losing a baby is a very real loss, no matter how far along you were. You need to grieve that loss for as long as it takes. Obsessing over getting pregnant again isn't going to help that grieving end either.

It will be hard for a while, you need to make peace with it in your own way and then focus a renewed and positive energy on the TTC process.

I've lost two and it is sad for a very long time, but it does get better. The good news is that you got pregnant once without any help. Getting pregnant again probably won't be too far out.

I will pray you find peace this holiday season.

MImom23 12-23-09 07:13 AM

:bighug: I have to agree with the other ladies, You need to greive for your loss Your body needs to get back to where it was before you got pregnant. which can take a few months.
I lost our first baby only days after finding out I was pregnant, and was told to wait 6 months before trying to get pregnant again. I was still in high school so we weren't trying persay but we weren't using protection either and 15 months later I got pregnant with my now 10 year old daughter. I now have 3 wonderful kids 10, 8 & 4. I know it dosn't help to hear but take your time and greive and don't push your body and I am sure your time to be a mommy will come.