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My Journey to get to this point Print Version

stephwit2 09-13-11 11:53 PM

My Journey to get to this point
WOO HOO. I just found out on August 7th, with a home digital, I"M PREGNANT!I loved seeing "pregnant" i would stare at it.. Everything was so wonderful, husband and kids were happy. Until the unexpected twists came.
Pain in my stomach, sharp, shooting, i thought it was just 'growing pains'.. The doctor got me in his office the same day. Which was August 15th. Did a u/s to find a "blob". Told me i would have to come back Friday for another u/s.
Week went by so upset but was still hopeful!
With in the week blood tests were done to find out levels were only at 171. Friday rolled around and i was so excited to see a heartbeat, but come to find out the "blob" didn't grow or was there a heartbeat to hear. Right after he pulled the u/s out he looked at me, and said "did you know you were bleeding"?
My heart sank and i cried my eyes out, as he told me what to expect in the next 48 hours and to keep clots, to do autopsy's on them. weeks went by and i was starting to heal emtionally and physcially. As more blood tests were done.

Went to church Sunday August 28th. Sitting in at church i doubled over in pain that i have never felt before... It was pain that i will never be able to describe, or want to feel again. My husband drove 90 mi. in a 35 to rush me to the ER.
I was rushed in, and put on a IV, pain medicaitions. as every 30 min-1hr i was wanting more pain meds. U/S were done and there was neither a sac, or any baby that they could see.

I finally was rushed to a main hosptial for ER surgery to find out what was going on. Levels went up 171-182-210.
I was in shock and wondering what my body was doing. As i was getting prepared for surgery all i could pray about is i hope everything is okay. No-where did i think while in surgery they had to remove my tube and the baby that was stuck inside. My heart sank so low, as i asked softly to my nurse. " did you really take my baby"?
She not only said the baby but my tube. this has been such an emtional roller coaster i just keep writing down all my thoughts ... I only know that GOD has my plan in his hands and i will lean on him for all my answers. Thanks for taking time to read my journey.


2babygirls 09-14-11 12:13 PM

I'm so sorry Steph :hugsad:

countrycutieluv 09-14-11 06:37 PM

I'm sorry for your loss :hugsad:
There are too many of us who understand loss. It's aching pain...
I will keep you in my thoughts.

rudolphia 09-14-11 07:58 PM

:bighug: I'm so sorry.

stephwit2 09-15-11 12:51 PM

Thank you all so much, it's been really hard. However i know one day things will all come to clear. It hurts because my past preg. i had no problems like this at all. Now that we were trying finally got preg it all went down hill from there. It's really hard to comprehend but i know, that you all know how i feel and understand me. It's been a rough journey because ALL i see if everyone getting preg. and it hurts because i couldn't have my preg. healthy.
Thank you all so much. means alot. <3