This is really starting to bother me. This is probably the third time I've had this said to me in the past few months.



Brent's friend that he spent the night with is where this came from. The mother was over at our house a couple of weeks ago when her child spent the night with us. I was not there at drop off time so I didn't know she actually came inside our house. Not that I care but Randy just told me last night when this conversation came up. She walked through our house and said oh this is really nice but how do you keep it this neat and picked up? She even commented to Randy that she was amazed because his office was so neat and that all 3 kids were at home too.



So last night Randy drops Brent at their house. I've never been past the living room but Randy took Brent in and then 2 more friends of theirs showed up with the mom (Braedon's Pre K teacher's kids) and the kids headed off to the back bedrooms so Randy went back there to say goodbye. The mom started saying to Randy OH don't go back there I hate for you to see my house after seeing yours etc. Then the other mom who has been to our house numerous times because her child has spent the night with us too said Oh I never would invite Randy and Susan to our house there is no way I would let them see my house after seeing theirs.



And I've noticed we have a lot of friends, they love coming to our house but we rarely get invites to their homes. I've heard 3 of them say similar things as these two people. So really this upsets me! Just because I keep my house semi neat and clean you won't invite us over? WOW... how bad could your house be? And I don't judge people by their homes or what they drive etc. Now I will admit if I went and your kitchen was NASTY I would not want to eat there but it would have to be very obvious. KWIM?



Just really bothers me.


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Wow...yea..that is shocking. My house is fairly neat. There might be some small toys on the floor and such, but no way is it a mess. If it is, the girls clean it up before someone is coming over.

You have a beautiful house! I think where it stems from is the fact that they feel even if their house was spic and span it probably wouldn't compare to yours. I don't personally judge people by their house unless it is disgusting but I do sometimes try to picture myself living there and what I would change or how it would be so easy to clean this or that. Sometimes I think if I had a bigger house the messes wouldn't be so obvious because they are spread out, lol.

thanks Christine for the compliment. My house is nice and I know that we are super lucky to be able to afford it but it still needs a lot of work! I've been waiting for 5 years to get new flooring.

I don't know what to do. It's where we live, it's not who I am.

I'm sorry Susan. That is really tough and awkward too. I think I can understand a bit where they are coming from. You however aren't the type to make people feel uncomfortable, so I don't quite understand though.

Yesterday we went to Ilijana's best friends home. Her Dad is a 50 year old cardiac surgeon, so let's just say their home was beyond amazing and they have a live-in nanny/maid, so it is spic and span as well. WOW! BUT, they never once made us feel awkward or less than, and it simply is their home. If DH or I worked that many years/hours and could afford a home like that, for sure we'd have one too. KWIM?

Now, we had them to our house a few weeks ago and it was not even a thought. However, if we were living in the 2 bedroom townhouse instead of the house we are living in....I'm embarrassed to admit this but I probably wouldn't have wanted to invite them over. While our current house is no where near their homes grand scale and beauty, it is an appropriate home for a family of 4. A 2 bedroom condo/townhouse wouldn't feel that way.

Another point is with cleanliness/perfection. I would never want to invite my aunt to any party I was having. She is Martha Stewart on crack. She cleans like a maniac, has time/money/ability to make and buy fancy foods, favors, decorations and makes sure to tell everyone how exotic/fancy/expensive this or that was. UGH! I love her dearly but she is judgmental and EVERYONE knows it. LOL!

Your home is gorgeous and honestly it can be intimidating. You and Randy are so good together, are kind and generous hosts and you appear to "have it all". To many people that can also be intimidating. I think if they really got to know you guys or they realized and felt pride in all that they have, then they wouldn't feel so embarrassed.

My SIL bought a giant mansion a couple of years ago. She is the first one to tell us how "HUGE" it is or "we have 2.5 acres" "it has 2 kitchens and is AMAZING", etc... That alone puts me off and it will be a cold day in hell before I want to step foot in her "home". LOL! I can't handle braggers who claim to be pious. LOL!

I'm in the reverse situation right now with Milo's godmother. She and Milo's Godfather just divorced. She is living in a 2 bedroom apartment with her 2 kids and this is a huge step down from where they were. We are no better off financially then them, but got lucky in finding this house. I'm so embarrassed/nervous to invite her and the kids over. She is one who does a lot of "must be nice" comments in various situations, so I'm really dreading her coming over. So far we are planning on meeting out. I know she isn't thrilled to host us in her new place, and for the opposite reason, I'm not comfortable having her here. Sad but true. She's a lovely and sweet person, but even before the divorce was always "must be nice you can stay home", "must be nice to go on vacation", etc...

That phrase irks me to no end. Must be nice should be "must be your choice and I have chosen not to do that". LOL!