We are having LOTS of issues with Milo's teacher this year. She is the first and only teacher in the entire district that we've had issue with.

I have tried really hard to get us off to a better start. At the parent and child lunch another mother mentioned she had a problem with the week that her son was to be "Star Student". The teacher then offhand mentions that Milo might be the week after the other student. She asked me that if Milo is the following week, if we'd switch. I agreed but said, check on it and let me know.

I heard nothing back from her. Part of our issue with her is that she never sent us a single weekly student newsletter for the first 2 months of school. When I finally asked her if she could send us little updates home, she said that she has been emailing them to all the families she had addresses for. She HAD both DH and my email addresses. Anyway, I assumed Milo was scheduled for his assigned week.

Saturday afternoon I get cc'd on an email in response to the other kids family. They got a reminder note in his folder that this was his star student week. They wrote to the teacher saying " hey, didn't you say we could switch" and the teacher just cc'd me in her reply with "yes, Milo will be this week and your son can take Milo's week. Thanks Milo's Mom" and that was that!

I was LIVID! Milo has asperger's and one of his things is dates. He remembers every date in the universe. She should KNOW that by now. To just offhandedly email me that we are switching the dates was unacceptable to me. At least in the way that she did it. To CC me on a reply without checking with me first? What a position she put me in by already including the other family.

I wrote a short reply stating we would indeed make the switch, but that I didn't appreciate the last minute notice by the teacher and would have appreciated her letting us know sooner.

She apologized for MY misunderstanding as she thought we had wrapped it all up at the lunch. Why then did she put the note home in the other child's folder and NOT in Milo's??? She forgot but then blamed ME! I was now even more enraged. If it weren't for the other parents questioning her, she would have just followed the set calendar, but I was the one who misunderstood???

The Star Student stuff is photos, mementos that describe who your child is to the class. Some kids even do videos. It is their special week to have kids learn about them. It takes some prep time and according to the teacher, the items should be given to her the Friday before the child's star student week. She let's me know via a cc reply on Saturday afternoon.

I simply stated the facts in my email and explained that it was not fair or right of her to drop this on us without first asking a day before it was due. We had DH's grandparents 65th anniversary, I had a cardiac monitor that I was to wear all weekend,, etc... Not exactly the time to add another thing to our plates last minute.

The principal called me in to her office yesterday and reamed me out! No kidding. She was upset that an hour and a half of her weekend and family time was disturbed by MY email that she found combative. How could an email be combative that simply states my displeasure? Seriously, it was terse and straightforward but combative??? I am no longer allowed to communicate via email to the teacher as she was apparently in tears for an hour and a half on the phone with the principal on Saturday. Trust me, what I wrote to her was not something to cry about for an hour. That screams unprofessional to me. Who cries to their boss for an hour plus for an email???

Anyway, just wanted some input and advice. I am now considered a menace to the woman, when quite frankly the opposite is more than true.

I don't appreciate her continuously unprofessional behavior in regards to my son and our family. I guess stating that is combative??? UGH!!!

What would you do in this situation? We are trying to get an IEP in place for Milo and they are fighting us on it all the way. We've been told to hire an attorney or an educational advocate by therapists and other parents with special needs kids. I just can't afford to do that though I think that would be great. Just how do I get them to treat Milo and us fairly with such a witch of a teacher.

Gosh Nicole I have no idea. Definitely sounds like the school is not in your corner. Is this the school that was so wonderful that you moved to specifically keep the kids at? I would be very angry at them not doing the IEP. Can't you force that since he has a diagnosis through Dr's and stuff?

As for the teacher. Well I have my own issues with Braedon's teacher. She seems OK but she is not good with Braedon or teaching him. In fact I had a big old note for her to call me today in his folder and I removed it this morning because he didn't want me to talk to her again. UGH.

I can't beleive the principal called you into the office though. : What did you say back to the principal when all of this went down? Was the teacher involved in that meeting?

It is that school district Susan, and it is still fabulous. We just got a bum teacher (they grouped all the "smart kids" in her class) and for some reason they REALLY don't want any IEP's. The administration has been horrible but again, if the kids didn't have special needs we'd never know who they were. If that makes sense. Other districts in our area might be better at writing IEP's, but if they have not so great teachers implementing it, it doesn't matter. This school has 90% awesome teachers. DD's teacher is phenomenal as was both of their teachers last year. Just great and enthusiastic people who love kids and love what they do. This year, due to them grouping Milo with all the "high end learners" he got stuck with this teacher and also is in a class without any of his friends. All of his good friends were not "high end learners" so they are in the other two classes. It really stinks!

When I mentioned that he sees a neurologist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, developmental pediatrician, etc...who all feel he needs services in school, they dismissed it completely.

The director of pupil services gave the analogy that it was like the school telling a neurosurgeon where to make the first cut??? Um...that doesn't even make sense. Cutting open in to a brain is not the same as a team of medical professionals recommending that Milo get services and protections while in school.

This is the second time we've had issue with this teacher officially. The principal assured me that she had handled it and took care of the situation. She literally got in my face yesterday and said "I handled it" but if she had, this wouldn't have happened again.

Like I told the principal, if Bob (or I) have a bad interaction with someone professionally, whether it is our fault or not, we handle them from there on out with kid gloves and make certain not to give them any reason to complain. Is this teacher just mean spirited then or dense to do something like this again? The teacher wasn't present at this meeting but was at the last meeting (where all she did was complain that she needed to eat as it was her lunch period).

I have the same issue with my kids Susan. They NEVER want me to talk to the teacher even if it is positive or has to be done. We are the parents though, and know best. I wish the teachers would take our input in to consideration. You know your kid better than anyone. In our case, we and Milo's team of therapists know him FAR better than the school. Both my kids put on happy faces and don't want anyone to see them struggle or have a problem. The school sees a smiling and eager face and thinks everything is perfect and they are the reason those kids are so "smart" and "behaved".

I don't know if this is the case with Braedon, but with Milo, he is doing fine academically but hasn't learned anything if that makes sense. If you "teach" a kid something they already know and then test them on it and they do well, you may have scores that look like you taught him something, but you would have gotten the same results prior to the "teaching". If that makes sense.

No sense in having a child in class if all you expect of them is to behave and not cause a problem. Their job is to teach each and every child to their potential and not what they assume is their potential. Kids need challenged and motivated not just stagnated. It really irks me, if you can't tell. LOL!

Teaching is not an easy profession, but when you have a parent who is concerned and willing to help (as I know you and your DH are) why not work as a team to do right by the child??

I would call the school board at this point. If they are not willing to do the IEP then I'd just go over their heads.

As for his class can you ask that they move him. I know it's not done on a normal basis but there are exceptions to everything one of my friends had her kid moved mid year last year because the teacher and her son were just not a good fit. The teacher and principal were 100% against it but she forced them to move him and the rest of the year was great.

Thanks Susan. We went above their heads with fighting to get him a new teacher at the beginning of the year and got no where. What was the worst is that they eventually relented and agreed to a new teacher, but this was after tons of meetings and 3 weeks in to the school year. Milo was afraid to switch at that point. We initiated the request for a teacher switch before school started. I felt so upset that they in the end gave us what we wanted (begrudgingly) but it took so long that it wasn't helpful to Milo.

In retrospect I wish I had gone against his feelings and switched. It would have made this year so much easier for all of us.