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Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease and My Idiot BIL (long vent)

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Old 11-15-04, 06:36 PM
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Angry Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease and My Idiot BIL (long vent)

DH and his brother made a football bet a while back and the loser had to watch the winner's kids one night while the winner went out to dinner (the deal was 3 hour max for dinner). A week ago Saturday, BIL called in the morning to see if they could go out to dinner. We didn't have plans, so we said that worked great.

They brought their two kids over (now, I could rant and rave about these two kids, one of which is my God daughter, but suffice it to say that their parenting style is vastly different than ours - and yes, I'll say we are better than them - and it's really starting to show up in their kids). As they are leaving, we asked them where they were going to dinner and they told us the name of the restaurant and the movie they were going to see!
 
Now, the entire family hates babysitting for these kids because BIL and SIL always say they need a sitter for X amount of time and then ALWAYS decide to do something else. They are very rude and inconsiderate. Anyway, DH made a rude comment about how they were going to fit it all in in 3 hours. So, after they finished dinner, they called and said there wasn't really anything they wanted to see at the movies, so they were going to pick up some margarita stuff and bring it back to our house. We said fine.

So, they come over and hang out for a while and after a couple of drinks, my SIL tells me that Ethan (my 2 year old nephew) has been exposed to hand, foot and mouth disease as his whole daycare class has had it over the past week. Ethan now has a couple of blisters on his leg, but they aren't really worried about it. Mind you she told us this after we've already had him in our house for 4 or 5 hours. And it doesn't seem to phase them at all.

On Wednesday, Andrew started acting funny when it was time to eat (really fussing after each bite) and started running a temperature. Talking to my MIL later that night, she tells us that Ethan was sent home on Monday from daycare with Hand Foot and Mouth Disease. Yet, no one bothered to call us and tell us he had this and that we had been exposed. Sure enough, Andrew had it. And today - 6 days later - is the first day he's been able to eat without screaming in pain. Liz came down with it on Friday, but is already mostly better today and now it looks like Brad might have a mild case of it.

And all because my rude, inconsiderate, *&&%^$ of a BIL doesn't think.
 
All he ever wants to do is find someone to watch his kids so he can go out. My MIL spends more time with the kids than he does. Literally. And he never hesitates to bring his sick kids around our kids (this is not the first occurance). DH did call and yell at him on Wednesday night, but he just said he was sorry and didn't think about possibly having exposed us to this disease.

Mike and I are just livid and don't know what to do. Ethan was not very sick with it. Andrew had a horrible case. And all 3 of our kids ended up with it, where they only had one child sick with it. So, they have no comprehension whatsoever of what we went through for the last week. So, they still think nothing of it.

We have an annual Christmas party at our house and when we e-mailed out the invitations last night, Mike took them off the list. But, I think that's still too subtle. Someone has to tell them. They take advantage of the whole family and someone has to set them straight. But, I can't be the one to cause a family battle.
 
And Mike isn't sure anyone would pay attention anyway.

What else can we do?

Sorry this is so long, but thanks for reading if you got this far!!!

Last edited by MomOf3Monkeys; 11-15-04 at 06:38 PM.
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Old 11-15-04, 06:53 PM
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Wow, I can't blame you for being furious.

But, I'd be very careful about creating a family war. Probably the most important thing is that you need to draw the boundaries for YOUR household, but not try to speak for other family members unless they've asked you too. Otherwise somebody else in the family might think you've overstepped your bounds, even if they agree with you.

For the party, I'd call BIL and explain that you feel angry about them taking advantage of your babysitting offer the other week. Tell them that illness in your home is very difficult because of the three young kids, and that the HFM was very painful for Andrew. I'd be inclined to invite BIL to the party but make it clear that he CANNOT COME if the kids are sick, not to the party and not ever. Moreover, I'd simply refuse to babysit ever again.

Jo
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Old 11-15-04, 07:21 PM
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Good advise, Jo. I am totally the wrong person to ask, I will not confront anyone. We had a friend in San Jose who used to bring her kid over sick all the time, it would make me so mad but I never said anything. I'm a wimp!

HFM is the worst, we were just talking about it on Annie's board. Luckily Connor got a mild case of it when he was quite small, but I thought they should have called it Hand Foot Mouth AND BUTT diesase because Connor's butt broke out the worst.
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Old 11-16-04, 08:55 AM
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Ditto 100% what Jo said. Don't make it a family war but either call or write a letter to them letting them know what your day looks like with three sick kids and how they may not come over unless their kids are 100% healthy. You have every right to be upset.
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