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Help! Grandparents

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  • 2babygirls 2babygirls's Avatar 09-24-12 | 03:06 PM
  • Its possible they don't feel comfortable having her without others around. Maybe they don't feel she will be safe or that they could keep up with her. They are older and haven't had babies of their own for a long time...
  • neilpeartgal 09-24-12 | 03:13 PM
  • They still golf about once a week and go on mini vacations once a month, so they're pretty mobile - my mom had knee surgery a year ago but gets around on it better than she ever used to. They baby gate the upstairs so she can't get up there and everywhere else is pretty much baby proofed. I don't doubt that it is tiring - it is to me at times! - but I still rarely ask because I am trying to be considerate of that.

    They're our only real backup for my husband were something to arise during the day (fail me leaving work), and now he feels like he's going to be told no or made to feel guilty if he has to ask for help. Can't say I blame him for thinking that.

    Last edited by neilpeartgal; 09-24-12 at 03:30 PM.. Reason: grammar!!
  • Chickie Chickie's Avatar 09-25-12 | 09:53 AM
  • Speak directly to your parents about how it makes you feel. Do not place blame or expect an apology. Just say it like it is. Many times the reason people lack understanding is because they are not seeing any perspective other than their own. So just spit it out to them, maybe they will surprise you with their perspective as well.
  • neilpeartgal 09-25-12 | 10:31 AM
  • I'm quite sure I'll be surprised by their perspective - I already am. I sort of told mom yesterday about how my husband is overwhelmed and we may look at paying for care, and all she did was agree with me and related a story about when my sister was born. So we're definitely on our own. Sort of a sad week or two for me honestly. They can help but choose not to.
  • MrsS1stbaby MrsS1stbaby's Avatar 09-25-12 | 12:58 PM
  • Okay, I gotta say something else here though, and you may not like it.

    Yes, your parents may have the time and means to be able to help you.....but it's not really their job to. It is your responsibility as a parent to find appropriate care for your child if you have to work. It is your job to care for your child, period. It is wonderful when grandparents can offer assistance, but often at this time in their lives they are relishing in the fact that they have their days to do as they please. They want to spoil and love their grandchildren, not become a caretaker. I think your mom is trying to let you know she remembers what it is like to be a new parent and that she doesn't want to do it again.

    Trust me, I feel your pain. When my parents come over to watch our 2 for a few hours so we can go on a dinner date, you can tell they are pooped by the time we get home. My daughter is a bundle of constant motion and my son is a needy, fussy baby most of the time, so I get it. Some days it would be nice if my parents were a little younger and energetic, but I can't turn back time or wave a majic wand to make their health issues go away.

    Anyways, I know you've been having a rough week and I hope you and your husband can find some sort of part time care for your daughter. A good daycare can really do wonders....you would be amazed at the stuff your daughter will learn and come home doing/saying. It's not such a bad thing!

    Last edited by MrsS1stbaby; 09-25-12 at 01:02 PM..

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