Skip to main content
Baby Corner logo

Help! Grandparents

Reply Post New Topic

  • SoccerPlayerMom 09-26-12 | 05:07 PM
  • I don't have first hand experience with this, since I'm still expecting my first baby. But we recently moved to a new house and our next door neighbours are a couple in their 60s or 70s. They take care of their 2 year old granddaughter several days a week. I'm guessing she's at daycare the rest of the week. The first time I saw this arrangement, I was like, wow, lucky parents! Now it changed to "uh, poor garndparents!" The girl is very active and throws a mean tantrum when she doesn't get her way. The grandmother is frustrated to tears at times. The whole thing seems quite out of control. I don't know how it got to that point but I don't see it going on like that for much longer. The grandparents will probably ask their daughter to find alternative arrangements soon.

    I understand where you're coming from Neilpeartgal, I really do. I have a demanding job and I don't want to think about what I'm going to do when it's time to go back to work and the baby needs me. I so wish I had family nearby that I can depend on. I think all parents need this and those with grandparents nearby and willing and able (young, healthy, energetic) to help are the luckiest ones.

    All I'm saying is, it would be best for everyone if you try to see it from your parents' perspective. Sure it would have been great if they were a little more selfless but they probably genuinely feel exhausted after a couple of hours with your child. If you keep this in mind when you're asking for their help, they might try to be more symphatatic to your problems in return.

    And, like others mentioned, daycare is a great thing for children's development and parents' sanity.

    Best of luck to you and your husband, hopefully these stressful times are over soon and you get some more fun in your lives!
  • neilpeartgal 09-27-12 | 08:14 AM
  • I agree - that seems like too much for folks of that age! The only way we would ever do that is if we had no other options - and at that, it wouldn't be long term because I wouldn't consider it a serious option for much past one or two weeks.

    I think I have tried to see it from their perspective. That is why I only ask them to keep her for a few hours at a time if my husband has something to do and he can't take her with him, or the occasional date night for us (which has only been twice in two years' time - well, twice that we've asked them anyway). Knowing how exhausting a two year old is even for me is precisely why we haven't asked more often - so that's why her comment shocked me so much; especially to make it to a babysitter and on a day where they kept her and I didn't ask them to. I felt punished for their decision which is really not fair.

    After hearing everything you all have said, and processing it a bit more on my own, I think my strategy going forward is going to be to tell them that they need to let us know when they want her because I realize how exhausting it is for them. I will also stop my regular Saturdays by telling them that is about the only day the three of us get to do something as a family, and the day where most of our friends plan the events they want us to come to, etc. That doesn't mean we won't come over at all on Saturdays, but just not every one by default.

Latest Articles

Pregnant Woman's Guide to The Zika Virus
Get the latest information about the zika virus during pregnancy including how to protect your unborn baby or infant, signs and symptoms, complications, and prevention.

Fetal Development Video
Video showing how a fetus developed during the 40 weeks of pregnancy. Fetal Development Video

Adventure Vacations with Your New Family Are Possible
If you spent time as a couple exploring vast areas of the world, that doesn't have to end just because you have a new baby. Here are 6 tips to make your vacations fun for the whole family. Plus, vacation ideas to help you get started.

The "Mozart" Effect: How Music Helps Your Baby's Development
Can your baby really be smarter if your listen to Mozart, or other classical music, during pregnancy?

What to Expect Postpartum: Your Period
The postpartum period brings many changes to a woman's body. Learn what to expect with your period including when it will return and warning signs to watch out for.

July 2018 Baby Photo Contest Winner

July 2018 2017 Baby Photo Contest Winner
Congratulations Willow!!