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I need to pick your brains (long, but I really need help!)

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Old 04-03-06, 11:35 AM
NicholeMatthew's Avatar
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Does he have any other symptoms: like excema or anything? Things that you wouldn't normally relate to eating?

My first reactions are that he is clearly uncomfortable eating, breast or bottle. And at about 4 months, he shouldn't be too distracted to eat- although he could be. But if you have tried it in a dark quiet room, then that shouldn't be it.

Maybe he has a food intollerance to something you eat and then associates nursing to the belly ache and well throws the fit so he doesn't nurse. Usually milk or something like that.

Or maybe reflux? The position you are nursing/feeding him could cause a reflux which can be painful- even a mild grade where he isn't spitting up.

It could be how fast the milk is flowing?
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Old 04-03-06, 12:43 PM
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My Ped told me with my son Braedon ( now 14 months) that the reason he was so irritable after eating was reflux although he was not spitting up at all. He told me that the kind that is "silent" it worse then when they spit up because it just sits there and burns them.

Honestly I think I'd try to get some formula for him (although I know you've wanted to BF and have struggled so hard) and see if he will take it and what his reactions are for a day or so. Then you'll know if it's related to the BM or not. From that point I think I'd talk to the Dr and see if they have some preliminary tests they can start doing to see if he has reflux or other stomach issues.

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Old 04-03-06, 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by MomOf4Monkeys
And as much as I love him, I'm just not enjoying him. Every time I look at him, even if he's smiling and laughing at me, all I can think about is how much longer I have until the next feeding.
Jackie, I wanted to address this part of your post. This is how I was when Annie was a baby, except that it wasn't an eating issue, it was that she cried ALL THE TIME. Rich had just started a new job and was never around, and I felt totally alone with this screaming baby. I viewed taking care of her kind of like a job, but I was not enjoying it at all. I even remember telling myself to pick her up and hold her because she needed my touch, even though I didn't really want to. It was just what needed to be done. I couldn't leave her anywhere because she would cry so much, even the church nursery. So I could never get a break.

She didn't really stop the crying until about 6 months, and it wasn't until then that I finally fell in love with her. She is now almost 4, and I look back at that time with a lot of guilt, but I love her so much now I hope it makes up for it. And it's kind of like we have a special bond because of it.

I think I was also struggling with PPD, which I didn't deal with until about a year ago.

I just wish we could be there to help you out. All the changes you've been through I'm sure are contributing to your stress. I hope you get some answers from your doctor. I know it's hard, but follow your instincts, you can do it. Big hugs to you.
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Old 04-03-06, 01:45 PM
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I'd see if you can get a referal to another doctor. Perhaps a gastroenterologist? It just doesn't sound right.

That said - I can't remember what is a lot of milk for a baby at that age. It seems to me that my girls would only drink a few ounces at a time. Perhaps his stomach is just small and he fills up easily? Perhaps his stomach empties slowly & he just isn't hungry yet?

((((((((((Hugs))))))))) I hope you find a solution soon
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Old 04-03-06, 04:51 PM
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Yes, we've talked about reflux, but so far the doctors are saying they don't think so. That wouldn't have surprised me as Liz has had reflux problems forever (and ended up with an ulcer at age 5). It doesn't seem to be the need to look around as I have the same results in noise as we do in a quiet darkened room.

As for the amount that he's eating, I just know he was getting more from me when nursing (based on my flow and output when pumping and knowing that babies are more efficient than the pump). My other kids were all eating 8 ounces by now (at roughly the same size and age) when they took a rare bottle. And the amount wouldn't concern me except that he had the weight issue when we were in. My biggest concern is that I want him to eat happily again - any thing, any amount. It upsets me that we have to fight for every feeding even when he is very obviously hungry.

That said, I gave him a bottle of formula today for the first time. He complained at the start, but only for a couple of minutes before he started drinking and then he very quickly took down 5 ounces. So, maybe it is the breastmilk after all...
We'll try the formula bottles for a few days (and continue nursing in the morning and at bedtime) and see what happens. I will be very sad if that's just the end of breastmilk for him, but again, my primary concern is his tolerance for eating and his weight gain. But what will I do with the incredible supply of breastmilk I have in the freezer?

Diane, thank you for sharing about Annie. I feel so guilty when I look at him and don't feel that surge of happiness. His first couple of months, I didn't ever want to be apart from him. If I could have just sat and held and fed him 24 hours a day, I would have. I think it has to do with knowing he's my last baby. And it kills me to not be enjoying this time with him because I'll never get it back and I'll never have another infant to enjoy. I just want him to be happy and content again so I can love him without guilt and stress. And I want to stop wishing away this time with him...
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