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Old 07-20-10, 12:51 PM
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Question I need a PT for Dummies book!

I am at such a loss at this PT stuff! Everything I read tells you about the signs to look for to know they are ready and not to push, they'll train when they are ready. But nothing ever seems to tell me what to DO or to fit the issues/hurdles we are having.

Kendall is pretty much still avoiding the potty, but tells us when she needs to be changed, like immediatly. Sometimes I think she tells me WHILE she is going. But when I ask if she wants to go sit on the potty, she shakes her head and says no. If I somehow got her to come in the bathroom with me and then ask her, she pulls away from me like she is afraid. So I have been taking the "not pushing it" approach.

Well, she was moved up to the 2 yr old class on Friday and when I picked her up, she was wearing a Pull-Up b/c apparently she decided to take off her shorts & diaper and they put a "backup" Pull-Up on her...even though they have plenty of her diapers. And the teacher told me she went #1 on the potty! They use a potty-ring that sits on top of the toilet, so I told the teacher I'd get one for home to see if she prefers that.

We bought a potty-ring, a small pack of diapers, and a small pack of pull-ups, and some big girl undies so she could see what she has to look forward to.

She does seem to like the potty-ring, but it is like a game. She just wants to sit there for like 20 minutes or get off & on. We got tired of sitting in the bathroom with her, so we took her regular potty chair in the living room & let her walk around half naked. (she threw a FIT when we 1st told her we had to leave the bathroom!) Then she had the bright idea to go get her potty-ring from the bathroom and remove the actual top part of her potty chair & place the ring on it. Then she kept trying to put the whole thing on the couch and got upset when we told she could not have the potty on the couch.

Despite her apparent interest in the potty-ring, she STILL says no when I ask her to come to the potty with me & use her potty chair (we only have 1 bathroom, so if I am using it, she would have to sit on the potty chair) and pulls way from me. And still says "No" when she is dry in the morning, but then 10 minutes later is telling me she needs to be changed.

So, what do you do? Make her sit on the potty anyways while she cries and says, "No, no,no"? And what about the just SITTING there for 20 minutes when you have stuff to get done like cook dinner...or god forbid, you have to go potty too but she refuses to get off the potty ring & sit on the potty chair?

Sorry this is so long, but all this confusion & frustration is starting to build up!
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Old 07-20-10, 01:06 PM
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One thing I learned is to never force them. I learned that w/ my first. She will do it on her own.

With my second, she decided to wanted to wear "big girl panties", so we put on training pants on her. She got the concept but some days she was lazy and go in her pants. I remember days she would have 1 accident and other days I lost count. After 2 grueling months, I can now say shes FULLY only took 2 wks w/ my first.

Just be patient and reward her for going...she will get it..might not be tomorrow or next week, but she will get it when shes ready. Both of them were both trained right around their 3rd birthdays.
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Thank you DanieH!
MrsS1stbaby (07-20-10)
Old 07-20-10, 01:58 PM
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I have NO personal experience with this- but alot of the kids at the preschool I work at either potty train at home or school first- and it is usually school. Also, a trick someone mentioned is when they are at home put their underwear on UNDER the diaper or pull up- then they actually feel wet and unconfortable. The diapers nowadays are TOO good and too absorbant- so most kids don't care if they are wet because they can't really feel it. Good luck!!!
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Thank you Mark'sbabygirl!
MrsS1stbaby (07-20-10)
Old 11-12-10, 01:13 PM
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I think with her being in child care it is a big plus because they are teaching her at school how to use the toilet so they expect parents at home to in force it also. so do not worry she will be trained before you know it.also my brothers best friend. her name is Jayden they started PT her at 2 and she wanted nothing to do with the potty we even went out and bought her one of those potty that sit on the big toilet. still no avil so one day her mom went out and bought her panties said to her big girls wear panties when you have to go you let us know so we would say Jayden do you have to go potty she would say no well then she would stand there and say my pee my pee and she would potty in her they tell you when they do this do not punish them because they are learning . well i can tell you that she is now 3 years old one day when she was 2 1/2 she just decided she was going to be fully potty trained so no more pull ups not even to bed. so it will come just give it time.
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Old 11-12-10, 02:00 PM
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Day care will help immensely, because they line the kids up and all go at the same time. Peer pressure is powerful.

As far as home, you need to stop caring so much. Kids are really tuned in to what we want to do, and our hot buttons. If she sees this pushes your buttons, she'll do what it takes to get your goat.

PT is extremely frustrating and maddening, particularly when you want SO MUCH for it to happen. I have two boys, and the older is 4. He is JUST NOW being more consistent with the potty, and his first successful time using the potty happened when he was 27 months. Now he goes poop in the potty very consistently, but sometimes pees his pants because he's busy doing something and doesn't want to stop and go to the bathroom. He will happily sit in his own wet pants forever if I don't pay attention.

The fact that Kendall doesn't like wet pants is good for you. If you really want to make headway, keep her in underpants when she's home with you. Pullups and diapers don't feel wet, but underpants do. Marek didn't start getting at all serious about the potty until I made him wear underpants every day, and for WEEKS he begged for pullups. It seems terrifying to put a kid in underpants, but your house can be cleaned. We even go on field trips into the city on a regular basis, with underpants on. If he poops his pants on a field trip, I manage. I keep ziploc bags and lots of wipes in our bag, plus lots of extra underpants and pants. You manage.

She's a girl. She's going to get it fast, and you've already got a great start. Hang in there. I have suffered, yelled, screamed, etc., but it's starting to come together.
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Thank you rudolphia!
MrsS1stbaby (11-12-10)
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