Lucy is aware of when she is going to the toilet - pee and poo and doesn't like the sensation of peeing in her nappy and complains about it BUT she refuses the toilet, we have a childrens insert which sits on our toilet making it smaller plus we have a step but she just begs me to put a nappy on her
 
I have bought pants and she loves them but whenever I leave off her nappy and leave her in the pants she is okay until she pee's then she freaks. I do bring her at intervals but she just pleads for a nappy.

Is she just not ready? is she lazy? Is there any point in forcing her/continuing with the potty? I don't want to make it harder for her by making her upset then she will associate upset with the toilet.

Sounds like she just isn't ready yet. Give it a few more months then try again. She's on the right path though.
 


When I potty trained Cora I made it into a fun game. We set a timer for every 10 minutes and RACED to the bathroom to go potty. She got to drink ALL sorts of juice/liquids too. Then when she went on the potty we did the potty dance and she got marshmellows and stickers. The second day we bumped it to every 15 minutes (for naps and at night she still wore diapers). I just increased the time between potty runs each day until we reached every hour. (That was probably around day 4). She had a few accidents, but we even made that into a game. We ran from room to room saying ... "Do we pee in the living room?" "NO!" "Do we pee in the dining room?" "NO!" I always included the area where she had her accident and ended in the bathroom where we said "YES we go potty in the bathroom." Anways sorry this response is sooo long! This process just worked really well for Cora and she really enjoyed it so I wanted to share.

That does sound like fun, lol!

I'm with Therese; Kendall flips back & forth, but most frequently is on the side of begging for a diaper & whe I ask if she would like to go sit on the she does not hesitate to say no! At daycare, which she only goes to twice a week, they tell me she willingly sits on the potty & actually goes #1 most of the time for them. I am thinking she is just not ready, but seeing all the other kids do it there makes it fun for her.

My kids were scared of the adult toilet and the flush. We had much more success when they sat on the little potty chair with their toys. She may feel more secure with her feet on the ground. It is a bit messier to have to dump and rinse, but...

this is the kind of chair we like...

 


Here is a web site with training tips

 


Good Luck.

I agree with above also -- keep it light and fun!

Avery immediately tells me when we has peed or pooped in her diaper. Here recently she likes to ask to go to the potty but does not do anything besides sit there but sometimes she does. Today we were at a birthday party and she asked to go poop on the potty and she actually did. I think we are taking super tiny baby steps and one day we'll get there. Ave isn't scared of the potty she loves to sit on it, our problem is getting her to sit still. She's so ancy!