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Very overwhelmed (long)

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  • rudolphia rudolphia's Avatar 03-30-08 | 05:02 PM
  • I'm really beginning to wonder how on earth I'm going to manage my situation once I have Marek home with me during the weekdays, and even just how I'm going to manage handling getting him to day care and picking him up from day care in the meantime. I feel stupid saying that when there are folks here like Diane working every spare hour and taking care of two kids close together - but I'm completely overwhelmed.

    I guess the thing that's making it really hard for me is the constant pumping. It wouldn't be as hard if I didn't have to remember to pump milk four times during the day while Marek is awake (I also pump right after he goes to bed). Marek just doesn't understand that I'm not available to play (I can't even freaking move very far) when I'm pumping, and he's very insistent, grabbing my hand and pulling really hard, then falling on his face and throwing a tantrum if I'm not doing what he wants me to do. If I have dh around to distract him, it works out ok, but there's not going to be any dh around when I'm home along with the two kids. And then sometimes Lukas starts wanting to eat when I'm in the middle of pumping, and I have to stop, unhook, go get him and a bottle, put him on the couch next to me so I can feed him while I finish pumping.

    So then I get really upset that I can't just feed my baby the regular way, but it doesn't seem to be getting any better. He still feeds very lackadaisically, and I don't hear much swallowing when he's on the breast. I have the third session with the craniosacral therapist on Tuesday. She's the one I found on my own - the one the LC recommended didn't have any opening until 4/20. I asked the LC about this and she said the one she recommends has NEVER failed to get a baby successfully breastfeeding. Do I believe that? Do I call her back and get in when I can? I just don't know what to do!

    This weekend I had my niece and her boyfriend in town visiting. They were a big help when they realized I needed help, but I have a hard time asking. It's so funny - dh always knows what I need, and if he doesn't I have no problem asking. Here I was this weekend needing to pump, and my niece was showering and her bf was on his computer, and I just couldn't ask him to occupy Marek while I pumped, so I was melting down in my room instead.

    Sorry this is so long. I'm just not sure what to do. I don't want to use formula, but I'm starting to wonder how long I'm going to last with this pumping schedule.
  • DEE DEE's Avatar 03-30-08 | 05:14 PM

    Rudi, I feel your pain. Remember when Julia wouldn't latch for anything? We saw several different lactation consultants on many occasions. I pumped every 3-4 hours around the clock for 8 weeks. What made it harder for me is we're on well water so I had to sterilize all my parts, etc. after every time I pumped, which added another 1/2 hour to the process. I was EXHAUSTED but so determined. And I didn't have a toddler to keep up with. After 8 weeks she was awake more, eating more and my supply was starting to decrease. I just couldn't do it any more. As much as I wanted to continue to breastfeed it got to be way too much. I made the decision to use formula and I cannot even begin to tell you how much happier of a person and mother I became.

    I know you haven't made a decision yet. I'll be hoping and praying everything works out for you. I just wanted to wish you luck and tell you what an awesome job you're doing.
  • wantabelly wantabelly's Avatar 03-30-08 | 05:37 PM
  • Sorry you're going thru so much Rudi with the nursing. You are so dedicated and your boys are so lucky to have you as their mommy! I know how important it is for you to nurse and I hope everything works out the way you want it to.
  • Jen_C Jen_C's Avatar 03-30-08 | 05:48 PM

    Your doing a GREAT job Rudi. Your such a great mommy and the others are right - Marek and Lukas are blessed to have you as a mommy. I hope everything works out with nursing like you want.

    I can relate a bit - Cora had to have bottles of her hypoallergenic formula and we were still unsure about her allergies so I was constantly pumping. I was miserable, but every time I thought about not breastfeeding I would cry and cry. I still remember feeding her a bottle, then putting her in a swing and trying to pump right afterwards. She alawys cried and I tried my best to soothe her while I pumped - it was crazy. I know this will sound weird, but I even prayed and prayed about what to do as far as nursing. I ended up stopping with pumping and just went with formula in the end. Once I knew that was the right thing to do I was okay and able to let it go. It was VERY hard for me though. I'm not saying you should stop with pumping, but just sharing my story.

    It's amazing that you've been able to pump as much as you do with Marek home too. I never find time to pump right now because I have Cora and Preston to take care of! I hope things improve quickly for you!
  • 3Princes 03-30-08 | 07:27 PM



    I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. I'd ask around at Marek's daycare if any of the ladies have a sitter who will come to the house. Even if she only came 1-2 times/week once marek was home from daycare, I think it would give you the small amount of time you'd need to feel refreshed.
    As a breastfeeding mom who had to pump a lot too (but not for the reasons you are) I can relate to being exhausted. I know you don't want to use formula, (I know this is not the popular opinion) but really one bottle a day here and there isn't going to hurt him. I know you want to give breastmilk and so did I, but the way I looked at it was this: I think Josh and Matthew would rather have a mommy who was at least partially well-rested, not ready to cry over exhaustion (I was at times), than being able to say they never had formula. Don't get me wrong, breastfeeding was/is very important (I did it for 9 months and 6 months respectively), but I was willing to allow a small amount of formula to increase my sanity level.
    Good luck. Oh, and I'd take the appt on 4-20 and go to the other one in the meantime. You dont' want to feel like you didnt' try absolutely everything.

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