I told DH
I was nervous to get my haircut as school is starting next week and I am not keen on changing things up. He convinced me it would be a good idea. I needed the trim, blah, blah, blah.
Well, she sits me down and I tell her I don't have anything in mind. I also told her I don't like short hair but just wanted to "experience getting my haircut at Disney". DH
says "maybe an inch or two" and I promptly said "two is too much".
The lady faces me toward DH
, and away from the mirror. I felt scissors on my neck and mouthed to DH
"what is going on. I don't want all my hair cut off". He gets up and takes a look and sits back down and gives me the thumbs up. I assumed it was just like a layer she was cutting to give it more volume or something. I get my hair trimmed maybe 2 times a year so I trusted that what he saw was not what I was feeling.
Next thing I know I see her cut off the sides of my hair. I felt like dying. My stomach hurt so badly and by that point it was too late. Had he stopped her or at least told me she was cutting off all of my hair in the back, I could get away with a ponytail or even a single extension in the back. He never said a word.
I am so upset with him over this. If
I saw someone doing something to him that he was unaware of and KNEW was not what he wanted I would do everything I could to stop it from happening. He did nothing.
He was so clueless that after he paid the bill and I ran from the shop in tears he wanted a picture.
I am more upset with what this haircut represents than the actual haircut. When I feel the cold breeze on my neck or see myself in the mirror I am reminded that DH
doesn't hear me or see me or want to help me when I ask him for help.
I just had told him the night before how I never ever wanted short hair. My Mom used to give me bowl boy haircuts as it was easier for her to avoid tangles. I would cry and beg for her not to cut it. DH
always thought it was cruel that she did that and always claimed to understand why I never wanted short hair again. I guess he didn't really hear me or understand.
We have been having a lot of problems and this was just a very tangible and in my face reminder that we don't value the same things or each other.
So along with a really horrible tuft of hair I am also left feeling as if
I am married to a man who doesn't love me and whom I no longer trust.
Lessons learned. Never trust a stylist who doesn't speak the same language as you or at least is 100% sure what you requested. Never let a hair stylist turn you away from a mirror while they are cutting. And the last and hardest lesson I learned is to never trust that my husband listens to me or cares what I want, value or feel or that he will help me or be there when needed.
In hindsight I should have straight out asked the lady why I felt scissors on my neck, but I trusted that DH
had my "back". I know now to never trust anyone but myself, especially when it comes to something I want or don't want to happen. Nobody, not even my husband can be there for me when I need them.