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how would you feel if you found out

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Old 02-13-09, 10:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skyqueen
 

My concern is that my wife has an anger management issue. There have been instances in the past, amongst her family and mine, where such tantrums have lead to strained relationships. I'm not sure how bad things have to get before I suggest family counciling, but my desire to document the over the top tantrums is telling of my concern.

I'd say you are probably there now. While I can see your reasoning behind it, there is a serious breach of trust in the way you went about doing it. I also don't know that I would count twice in one year as an anger management issue. In the normal course of human relationships between spouses, there will be knock down drag out fights. It's should be done in private away from the eyes of your children, family, and friends, but I know how hard it is for someone who feels very passionately about something to hold it in long enough to get to that private place. And I think we can all agree that Karen feels very passionately about a lot of things.
I hope you guys can work it out. There is obviously hurt feelings on both sides at this point.
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Old 02-13-09, 11:25 AM
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duplicate post

Last edited by MrsS1stbaby; 02-13-09 at 12:02 PM.
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Old 02-13-09, 11:30 AM
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IA w/Janine. She said it very well.

My husband and I new parents and it has been straining on us in various ways. In the beginning, the hardest part was feeling like my husband is never home. I wanted him to really see my point of view and how much he really was gone. I told him I was going to start keeping track of when he was gone and for how long. It was said it sort of a joking way, but also in a way to let him know I was seriously hurt. I actually did mark it down a few times, but honestly I do not have time to worry about it & keep a notebook on me at all times. In the end, a marriage is not about keeping tabs & tallying errors in judgement.
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Old 02-13-09, 01:29 PM
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Not cool dude - I would show you what a real hissy fit looked like. There have been occasions I have totally lost it with DH, I try very hard not to in front of the kids but we have totally different personalities. He can be a royal jerk and never raise his voice, while I on the other hand after weeks of putting up with jerky self-centered behavior will lose it over something small oh say a "granola bar" and then he'll say "look at you, get a grip." Actually all this is past tense, as in prior to me filing for divorce - I might be the angry one but his keeping track and being right came at a cost. Amazingly our story had a happy ending thanks to a great therapist, we eventually reconciled and a couple of years later are doing well but the the score keeping mentality had to change. I hope you can make it work but trying to rationalize that kind of behavior is a fast ticket to being alone.
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Old 02-13-09, 01:36 PM
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if my dh told me he was doing that I would not even belive him becasue he is way to lazy!! lol but if i did find out that he did do it I would most likely start keeping track of all the hours he was gone and not helping out with the kids because he way to busy keeping track of the things I did and spending that time and energy on stupid things intead of on me and the kids!!

Last edited by imagine; 02-13-09 at 01:46 PM.
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