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Old 11-29-12, 03:59 PM
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Default I do?

Hey guys, I need some opinions.
I have been with my SO for 3 years, we've had some rough patches but we always try to work through them.
Well, we are not married and people (mostly family) pressure us over it all the time now that we have a daughter.
Should we go ahead and go through with it?
He said we could just go get our marriage license. But I would want to do it the traditional way. Then theres talk about getting marriage license first then do a wedding later, but I don't feel it's the same.
I have all this pressure all around me and seem to be outcasted by my family (not my mother) because of this.
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Old 11-29-12, 06:06 PM
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In the US a marriage license doesn't automatically equal married. You have to get the license and the have either a civil or church ceremony in front of an officiant and witnesses. You and your SO need to decide if you REALLY want to be married.
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Old 11-29-12, 06:13 PM
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We do, but I dont know about rushing it. We live together in our own place and raising our daughter together, so it seems we are to me just we aren't actually married. I would rather have an actual wedding, which wouldn't be anytime soon due to everything that goes into getting one together.
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Old 11-29-12, 11:15 PM
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Don't let your family pressure you into anything you aren't ready for or into a courthouse ceremony just because you have a kid together. Every couple I've ever met that did the courthouse thing and said they would save up for a real wedding later never did. Life gets in the way and they are legally married, so they just let go of that dream. I mean, if the big wedding is not a big deal, then by all means do that whenever you are ready. But it sounds like you want the whole shabang and there is no reason you can't have that too!

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding for a couple that had their son first. They could have gotten married while she was pregnant, but she wanted the whole shabang and didn't want to wear a maternity dress. So they waited and got married when their son was about 6 months old. And that was 2 years ago!
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Old 11-30-12, 07:06 AM
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I would not get married just because your family or others want you to. It's a big decision, and one not to be taken lightly, even when children are involved. I would tell your family that when you guys are ready an announcement will be made, and you do not want to hear another word about it.

Sounds to me like you want to get married, but you want the whole shebang, which you deserve! I would wait for the whole shebang!
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