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Need help with 4 yr old- possible "highly sensitive" kid

Need help with 4 yr old- possible "highly sensitive" kid

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  • MrsS1stbaby MrsS1stbaby's Avatar 11-09-12 | 01:11 PM
  • Okay, so if any of you recall some of my posts in the past, my daughter is a pistol and sometimes a PITA. She's very smart, funny, and caring. But can also be extremely defiant, stubborn, independent to a fault, and sometimes her moods and attitudes will change from one minute to the next. I never know what to expect or what is gonna set her off.

    Recently I checked out a book from the library called "Taming the Spirited Child." Oh my word - 90% was exactly like they were describing her.....and I could even see myself as a child and teen in these scenario's. I had to return it b/c it was going to be late and will probably just buy it off Amazon. (compliments of the Baby Corner! lol)

    Since I read that book and also took an online qyestionnaire to see if I have a "highly senstive child", I have been noticing things I just always assumed was normal toddler/child behavior. A lot of my friends kids will do similar things, so it is all normal right? Or is it?

    The 10% that she doesn't fit into is when it states these kids can have trouble in school and can be shy. My child does very well in school- her teachers have always told me how well she catches on and she was put into a slighty more advanced VPK class then some of her peers. She has a very good memory and is CONSTANTLY asking questions about EVERYTHING. She also not least bit shy..she is extremely outgoing and loud. Occasionally she will act quiet around a new person....or a male person that she has a little crush on. But it doesn't last very long before her true self comes out.

    My question to you all, especially any of the old regulars that I know have had similar stories (here's hoping you come check TBC today or soon!), is what I should about my suspicions? Do I talk to her pediatrician about it, do I ask for a referral for a child psychologist? Or do just try to learn to react and treat her differently? I feel like I need help learning how to parent differently.....and my husband could surely benefit from someone other than me explaining that the way he was raised will not work on her!

    Thanks for any advice/suggestions! I want to help my daughter grow up to the best she can be and to have a life-long wonderful relationship with her, unlike the one I had/have with my mom.
  • lauralkemp lauralkemp's Avatar 11-09-12 | 01:50 PM
  • I need to get and read that book because everything you described including how he does in school is Joseph. We always sort of blew it off as being a boy and now adjusting to the change of a new sister. However I was thinking that maybe we should talk to his peditrician about whether a counselor would be a good step for him.
    Obviously I have no real advice and would love to hear anything that works and try it with him. Right now loss of privilage is the best discipline. That and consistant follow through on our threats.
    Good luck.
  • raabta01 raabta01's Avatar 11-09-12 | 03:28 PM
  • Now this is interesting. This also sounds 100% just like Kaydence, who is 6. We have a lot of these issues at home that we blew off as her way of dealing with two younger siblings because they keep telling us at school she is a saint. I'm going to have to check this book out! I'll get back to you after my wife or I reads it.
  • Dopey406 Dopey406's Avatar 11-12-12 | 12:05 AM
  • Well, first off:

    Secondly, it sounds like you're following your Mama heart---and that's a strong force to be reckoned with. I've learned over the years with my kids that I need to follow my instincts when it comes to my kiddos because no, teacher, friend, grandparent, etc. knows my kiddos like I know my kiddos. So if I'm feeling like something's "off", I follow the scent of that trail until I get answers (or as close to an answer as I feel comfortable).

    I would encourage you to advocate for Kendall because she can't advocate for herself.

    Why don't children come with manuals??
  • MrsS1stbaby MrsS1stbaby's Avatar 11-28-12 | 01:51 PM
  • Okay, so it has been a couple weeks since I wrote that original post. I made an appointment with the pediatrician for a behavior discussion, but it is not until the 12th. Now I am wondering if it is really needed? I mean, I totally think my daughter is "spirited" and maybe slightly senstive, but these are not things a doctor can prescribe meds or anything for. It seems like it is all behavior-related and any future happiness will fall on us as parents getting this right. I am afraid of telling the doctor all my thoughts & fears and end up wasting all of our time because it all comes down to how we discipline her and our lack of parenting skills in that department, right? And maybe how much sleep she is getting?

    On the other hand, a friend of mine (mother of 3 girls ages 10, 4, and 2), was there to witness the start of a tantrum when we had to leave a store and my dd was not ready. She took control and literally picked up my dd and carried her out of the store. But not before asking me if she is always like this. In that moment I realized her 4 year old dd was already walking towards the front of the store and my friend was surprised that my 4 year still throws tantrums like a 2 or 3 year old does. And I was embarassed.

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