We don't attend church, but the kids know about God and Heaven. Josh was actually with Mike when he went and found my grandfather, having had a stroke (and who died that night) and we were very honest with him about it, and he was way younger than Kendall.
Unless he is in a massive amount of pain/screaming and yelling/etc, I would tell her he is very sick, explain the whole shebang, and ask her what she wants to do. You'd have to prepare her--- he might not look the same, he might be talking funny, etc, but it's still the same guy who loves her very much. In fact, I'd probably go with my husband and see him first, just to survey the situation, and then take it from there.

Unfortunately, I've been through this a lot, not with my own kids but with my students. Many of them have lost a parent while I was their teacher, and one of my students died as well when I taught 1st grade.

Good luck, and I'm sorry you are going through this.

Unfortunately we are going through this as well right now so i understand your feelings. Joseph is not quite three and his great-uncle(my husband's uncle) is dying of cancer. it was caught after it already spread into his lymphnods and liver from his esphogaus so he only has about 2 months to live. They threw him a big party Friday( a wake). We just made sure Joseph said good-bye and gave him a hug. It was more for my husband and him then for Joseph.