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positive affirmation

positive affirmation

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  • **Jennifer** **Jennifer**'s Avatar 08-05-08 | 08:34 AM
  • Have a question, we have had a time getting our 3 year old (almost 4) to stay in his room at night. He usually ends up in bed with his brother. They both have twin beds so there really isn't room for them to sleep together. It really wouldn't be a problem but school is starting on the 11th and Garrett will need his sleep and I know they can't possibly be getting the quality sleep they need stuffed in that little bed.
    Anyway, we have tried everything in regards to discipline to get him to stay in his bed and he continues to get up. Last night it hit me, why not try something positive for him if he stays in his bed. I asked him what he wanted and he said a popsicle. So I told him if he stays in his bed for 3 days he can have a popsicle. It worked last night!!!
    And now to my question, when our oldest Garrett heard me talking to Jake he wanted to know what he gets if Jake gets a popsicle. So, when you are rewarding 1 child for something do you include the other one or do you just tell them some other time and just reward the child you are working with? I am torn because I know it will mean more to Jake if he is the only one that gets the treat but Garrett is involved too because he lets Jake get into his bed. But it really falls back on Jake because he shouldn't be getting up at all.
    What are your thoughts regarding the reward as opposed to discipline and what to do about Jake/Garrett. Thanks!!!!
  • Laurie Laurie's Avatar 08-05-08 | 09:23 AM
  • About the bed thing...I had the same problem when my youngest son was 3. We just pushed the twin beds together and made a big giant bed out of it and the problem was solved. Matt craves that security of another person in the bed with him and he sleeps practically on top of Seth every night. Seth is very patient with him, however. Your oldest son might be needing more personal space than Seth.
Thank you Laurie!
**Jennifer** (08-05-08)
  • 3Princes 08-05-08 | 12:08 PM
  • I was also going to suggest pushing the beds together.

    As far as rewarding the other child... I would use this as a golden opportunity to work on a behavior of his that you're not particularly fond of. Usually there's always something we're working on anyway
    So your youngest can earn popsicles for staying in bed and he can earn popsicles for whatever you want!
Thank you 3Princes!
**Jennifer** (08-05-08)
  • MImom23 MImom23's Avatar 08-05-08 | 02:07 PM

    I would find something that your older son can work on. but that being said my DD (just turned 3) was getting a candy when she went potty on the potty and my older kids would ask why they couldn't have any, and I would tell them they got candy when the went potty on the potty when they were her age.
    Another suggestion might be to buy special (maybe super hero) popcicles for your younger son and just plan ones for the older son to make it more special for DS for staying in his bed. but yet your older DS can still have a treat.
Thank you MImom23!
**Jennifer** (08-05-08)
  • savannah33 savannah33's Avatar 08-05-08 | 02:31 PM
  • I've done both things where all kids are rewarded when the youngest did something in fact it was staying in his own bed that we'd just bought him.
    The older kids encouraged him which made them a part of it and he stayed in his bed. So I would let him be the one to hand out the treat to them which made him proud.

    I've also used the method that Jeanne spoke about.
Thank you savannah33!
**Jennifer** (08-05-08)

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