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Old 04-30-08, 12:23 PM
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Question Skin Color

I have a sensitive question...my 4.5 year old is really taking notice of people's skin color lately. He has a teacher that is black and last night when I was giving him a bath he was telling me how he was playing with Ms Jane (not her real name) and I said oh, you played with your teacher today and he told me "No, not Ms Jane with the black skin the other Ms. Jane". Clearly he meant nothing by it, for him it's an obvious way to point out the difference between the two. So I wanted him to learn (subliminally) that there are other ways to do find differences. There are a couple of times he has done this, like Grandma is fat...again, innocent because she is big, but still can be a sensitive subject for people and I want him to have manners. So I told him that it doesn't matter if someone looks different, if they are small, tall, pink, blue, fat, skinny, straight hair, curly, wheelchair, old or young, etc that their Heart is the same as his and that's all that matters.

So my question is, how would you have handled? How do you explain sensitive subjects?
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Old 04-30-08, 04:08 PM
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I think you handled it the right way. I don't think they mean anything by it either. That's just how they explain it because that's how they see it. I let my kids know that we are all the same just different on the outside sometimes and just like people can have different colored hair they also have different color skin but it doesn't really mean anything except for heritage.
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Old 04-30-08, 04:11 PM
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We've been going through the same thing with Douglas lately. Somehow he got it in his mind that there are people with regular skin and people with chocolate skin. We are trying to get it in his head that first of all, we don't say "chocolate" and also that he doesn't have to point out someone bc they are different. He does the same thing with people that are larger in size, but usually loud enough for those people to hear and I always feel bad and tell him it's not nice to say things like that bc you might hurt their feelings or make them sad.

Other than that, I'm not sure what to say to him, so I'm glad you brought this up bc I could also use the advice!
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Old 04-30-08, 04:53 PM
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Sarah noticed differences at a very early age. We just told her that God made everyone special so everyone has their own special skin color, hair color, eye color, physical abilities (our neighbor's DD has cerebral palsy), mental abilities, talents, and gifts.

She seems pretty content with that so we left it alone there. I hope it stays that way.
 
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Old 04-30-08, 05:00 PM
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I agree with what the other ladies said. I mean, it's normal to notice those things. If they pointed it out at an inappropriate moment, or i thought they might be prone to, I might say something like, "It's great that you are noticing what makes everyone special. But, sometimes people may not like it when you point out things about how they look, like their skin color or if they're a different size than usual."
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