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  • HelenWendy HelenWendy's Avatar 04-30-08 | 04:11 PM
  • I think it is perfectly reasonable for him to describe her as Ms soandso with the black skin, he is completely right and not being offensive.
    I can understand that you are trying to teach him other ways to describe people, but if there are 2 people with the same name, one white and one black I think I might state the difference myself the way Tyler did.
    But then of course there is the, describe black thing!
    Ugh, kids!
  • ~babydoll~ ~babydoll~'s Avatar 04-30-08 | 04:36 PM
  • Your 4-year-old is right on track! This is very normal, but it can definitely feel uncomfortable to deal with. When I was teaching preschool and now as a teacher trainer, we talk about acknowledging children's interest in people's differences and respecting those differences, and focusing on similarities among people. Here's a link to a great web site on educating children about all kinds of people. They also do teacher training in schools; maybe your son's school would be interested.


    Good luck!
  • 3Princes 04-30-08 | 07:43 PM
  • I was thinking later..,
    If the child did say "black skin" I don't think the teacher would be offended at all. Actually, a lot of our kids say "brown" instead of black, and just about at 10 years old they mostly say "black" now. They understand more what it means to be a "black person" or a "white person."
    For the first time ever, I work with a black teacher. I felt really weird the other day cause a few of her kids were misbehaving and I didn't know their names. She said to me, "was he white or black?" She was just trying to figure out who it was but it was still odd for me, who has been educated all along not to differentiate that way. anyway... sorry to hijack your thread!
  • FingersX FingersX's Avatar 04-30-08 | 09:31 PM
  • You didn't hijack at all...and that's what I mean, it's that initial thought that you get...and when he said it, I felt that way. I just hope that I can teach them (both my boys) to see it as innocently as he did last night and again 20 + years from now...Ignorance is something I can't tolerate.

    Thanks Ladies, this is great feedback...he definitely wasn't inappropriate when describing but very matter of fact. I just want him to realize the "sensitivity" part of it...and I want to do it that's why I'm asking you
  • skyqueen skyqueen's Avatar 04-30-08 | 11:20 PM
  • Yeah - I don't see a problem with describing her as "with black skin" - that's a pretty reasonable description.

    Andrew has been talking aobut his frinds 'who have dark skin" which is barely dark to begin with ...
    and I've been telling him over and over again (and telling him when talking about age and old and wrinkled and fat too)
    that some people don't like other people pointing those sorts of things out and that it makes other people upset when you talk about that stuff. Especially how old someone is. And that most people don't want other people to point out the differences out loud.
    He seems to get it, but his age really is at that stage in the developmental process. Definately not being inappropriate.

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