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Old 07-07-12, 11:45 PM
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Default Spanking?

What does everyone think about spanking? I just want some opinions on it. i don't really want to do any spankings for discipline, just maybe a 'slap' on the hand and/or a timeout in the 'corner' where a chair and a short book on apologizing will be there for her to read and after shes done reading it she can come out and say her sorry's and give mommy and daddy a hug.

Whats your opinion on my question and my 'solution' to it...?
 
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Old 07-08-12, 12:41 AM
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My opinion on spanking? Before I had kids, I was completely against it. I felt it had no purpose and taught nothing. But now I have a extremely independent, stubborn, strong willed almost 4 year old. I spank. Not all the time. We do time out too. We take away things like TV time. I still don't like spanking, but sometimes it seems to be the only thing that gets her to listen. Discipline is something we struggle with in this house on a daily basis, but we try.

I'm not sure you what you mean by solution though; you have a plan for what you want to try, so give it a try. Consistency is always key, but it can be tough. We are really bad at using time out consistently. Sometimes I over-react and feel awful afterwards and have apologized to my own kid more than once. I'm not sure about your book plan though- my experience with time-out involves a lot of crying, screaming, kicking legs or the "manipulating stage" of telling me she has to go potty, or touching things outside of the time out area, or inching out of the time out area. I do not think my child would sit and read a book, besides she can't even read yet. And once she is able to read, I think that would be confusing to her: she likes to read stories (me reading them now and probably will as she gets older) and telling she can do something she likes while in time out may seem like a reward.

We followed the Supernanny time out process: 1)warning 2)take them to the time out spot 3)tell them why they are there, tell them you are setting the timer, and they are to stay there until mommy/daddy comes to get them 4) set timer for 1 min per year of age (but none of this really work, in my opinion, until they are about 2.5, so 2 mins) 5) When the timer goes off, you go to them, get on their level, explain again why they were in time out and ask if they understand 6) apologize, hugs & kisses (sometimes followed by an apology to someone else if called for)

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Old 07-08-12, 12:52 AM
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Oh, and I just remembered you have a little baby! Until they are older, it is not really discipline, but more of re-directing. They are touching electrical cords? "No, baby, ah, ah, ah! We don't put those in our mouths! Here silly, you can chew on this." It is mainly picking up and removing them from a situation and re-directing their interest to something else. If it is something very dangerous, a firm "No!" and maybe a light, two-finger tap on the hand may help get the message across, but expect some tears! When they are little like that and you start having to be more of a "mean mommy" it throws them for a loop. Like when they go through the biting stage; if they bite you, you have to say "No bite!" and put them down- they can't be rewarded by mommy holding them if they continue to bite.

Good luck with whatever path you choose later on! But don't get stressed if things don't go as planned; these things take time and it is new & stressful for all involved.

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Old 07-08-12, 01:06 AM
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thanks so much. i didnt even think about the whole book thing throughly. you opened my eyes to that. i also dont want her to think reading is a bad thing and not a "fun, educational" experienc.e (and yes i was talking about discipline for the future, i wouldnt be spanking her hand now or anything, lol)

So maybe an occasional spanking (in the future of course) as last resort if worse came to worse is what you are saying right?
i will definitely want it to be the last resort though.

I will try out that supernanny timeout when the time comes.
Thank you so much for your help!
I just want to be prepared for when the time comes when i have to get "strict without being a mean mother" ya know?
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Old 07-09-12, 03:26 PM
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I'm in the "was against it before I had kids" group. I try to really use it as a very last resort. A lot of times the threat of a spanking usually does the trick.


I really really really really like the idea of the book. I think it needs to be done correctly but I like the idea.

We struggle with disipline too. The hardest two part are that my wife has a tendency to "fight" with them more than disipline them, and second with three kids you can't always see what happens, nor rely on thier stories so it's hard to disipline when you don't know exactly what happened!
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