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What should I do.

What should I do.

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  • Keepers Keepers's Avatar 02-17-10 | 10:26 AM
  • OK so SIL is having a housewarming party this Saturday, Which also is the same time and day as my nephews 1st birthday party. I know I am going to the birthday party because I feel like that is more important than a housewarming party and heres why. SIL already had bought a house before. She is now married to a LOSER who cant keep a job. He is one of those ppl that know everything and can never be wrong. He has been fired for a couple jobs for stealing and SIL and MIL & FIL all say that he was set up and refuses to believe that he is a loser. They put on the invitation that they wanted money!!! I think that is so tasteless. (They prob need money to pay for the house lol) Oh and this house they bought (I have no idea how they got approved for it because 1.) Her DH hasnt had a steady job, 2.) How will they pay for it. It is a $170,000 house(which is ALOT for here).You can get a very nice house for $120-130 range. I dont want to go to this party because they prob wont live in the house long before they foreclose on it. I know it is wrong to say but its the truth. This is a vent/question lol So, on to my question...

    1. Do you think it is wrong that I dont call or come to the housewarming party?

    2. Should I get a gift even though I dont want to?
  • Sheri Sheri's Avatar 02-17-10 | 10:47 AM
  • I thought you only held a housewarming party for first time buyers?
     

    I'd probably skip the party for SIL/BIL and just go to the nephews party.
    If I felt obligated to buy a gift I'd get them something like a potted plant or something of that nature.
     
Thank you Sheri!
Keepers (02-17-10)
  • rudolphia rudolphia's Avatar 02-17-10 | 10:48 AM
  • I think a baby's first birthday party is much more important than a housewarming party, especially if the baby is related to you. I would RSVP that you have other plans and leave it at that. Regardless of what they put on the invitation, you don't have to give them what they ask for. It's terribly rude to say anything about gifts on an invitation. If you really want to get them something, buy them something small for the house, which is what is traditionally given for a housewarming.

    The issues with your BIL's job and their lack of financial responsibility shouldn't really enter into the decision, but it sounds like you really don't like these people. If that's the case, I don't think it's out of the question to just limit contact to those events you can't get out of (holiday get-togethers to which they are also invited, for example).
Thank you rudolphia!
Keepers (02-17-10)
  • Keepers Keepers's Avatar 02-17-10 | 10:54 AM
  • Oh and I forgot to mention, that this housewarming party isnt at their new house....Its a MIL house right across the street!!! Ever heard of that before? Oh and Sheri, I thought hw parties were for 1st time buyers as well lol
  • rudolphia rudolphia's Avatar 02-17-10 | 11:08 AM
  • That's a new one on me. I think of a housewarming more as an opportunity to share a new house with friends and family than as a house shower, so I don't think it's inappropriate to have one for second houses and so on. Dh and I had one when we moved into this house (it was our first together, but not either of our first homes). We specified on the invitation that we didn't want gifts - it was just a celebration of our new place and a chance to welcome our friends to it.

    I do think it's completely stupid to have one someplace other than the house that's being warmed - what on earth is the point of that??? This is just a blatant grab for gifts, and I would get them absolutely nothing.
Thank you rudolphia!
Keepers (02-17-10)

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