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What would you advise? (Long)

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Old 06-23-09, 08:37 PM
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Ugh! I read this and then went for a walk to think about it. It's so hard when someone's asking you what to do in a situation like this.

I think if I were in your position (ack), I'd try to ask her questions and try to be there for her as much as I could.

Are you happy?
What would you tell ME to do if I called you and told you this?
How is this affecting the kids, who have GOT to know something is going on?

If I did offer advice, I'd avoid the word "divorce" and just tell her she needs to distance herself and protect her kids from the distructive behavior he's displaying. If he wants to change (which heprobably cant) and she wants to reconcile then, go right ahead once he's proven himself.
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Old 06-23-09, 11:00 PM
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....how big is his life insurance policy? I'm just saying......
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Old 06-23-09, 11:21 PM
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Old 06-24-09, 12:26 AM
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Good advice already given. I'm GLAD I'm not is your shoes, yikes!!

I'd also try my best NOT to make a decision for her... even if she's pestering you to do so!!

The guy sounds pretty scummy... MULTIPLE women before, and now one more "serious" one... yuck.

I think a good thing to offer would be to watch her kids so they can have a looooong discussion face-to-face.

Good luck!!
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Old 06-24-09, 08:11 AM
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Oh brother what a bad position to put you in. I think I'd offer the shoulder to cry on but not much else and stay out of the drama as much as possible. I know you want to be there for her but I agree with Holly this is going to get ugly. I had a friend whose dh was cheating on her and even though I didn't offer any advice my friend confided in me and now the dh that she reconsiled with doesn't feel comfortable hanging around me because he thinks that I don't like him. WELL of course I don't like that you cheated and treated my friend like crap but I never told her what to do! It's a bad situation.

Good Luck.
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