the paci is a "fad" thing, dont know why but the kids think its cool, I think its ridiculous - when I was early teens the group TLC came out and the paci thing was "in" but we wore them around out necks, it was really silly!

If noone else is willing to speak up to be concerned its diffilcult for you to say things without sounding bitc*y, but in her defense I imagine being an over weight child is very hard and even harder to lose the weight once its on, maybe just keep giving her positive reinforcement and try your best to make her feel comfortable in her body, Im sure eventually she'll decide she wants to lose weight and then you can be the one to help her along

I know. The DR did say something to her and made her cry so DH doesn't let her see that DR anymore. We have custody of her but she spends more time with MIL then us! DH lived there after his divorce and MIL was the one to take care of her. I try to make him make her live with us full time, but he won't. It's like he doesn't want to stand up to her. We pay for everything but it's not the same. She calls MIL mom, but she has a mom who sees her all the time. I am so at loss as what to do. Maybe it's a losing battle and I just need to forget it.

I wouldnt forget it, but maybe not pursue it right now either, its hard w/dsd's and then if she's w/mil most of the time it makes it that much harder, i'd stay aware of it and be there when she decides she's ready for a change (& Im sure it wont be long)

wow... that is just crazy... but you need to continue to pursue this.... poor girl

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oh boy...im sorry you are having to deal with this.
i have never heard of a 12 year old sucking on a paci.
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the ladies already gave you some good advice. if nothing seems to work and you are always made out to be the bad guy, then I would drop it until a few people grow up. where is her biological mother? what does she think about this weight issue and paci issue?