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All the things you don't want to hear...

All the things you don't want to hear...

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  • Keepers Keepers's Avatar 09-22-08 | 03:08 PM
  • I HATE hearing #5 the most!!!!!!!!!!
  • hopeful7 hopeful7's Avatar 09-22-08 | 03:22 PM
  • Thanks Amanda, I like that blog. In fact I had even heard about it but have never seen it.
  • wendysue611 wendysue611's Avatar 09-22-08 | 06:23 PM
  • A
    Stephanie! I totally agree with you. The one I hate hearing is when I'm told to be patient. If you are someone that just "happened" to get pregnant, then please don't comment because you have no place to say anything. No one knows how it feels to try and try and not succeed unless you have been there. No matter how long you've been TTC, whether it be a few months to many years, it still hurts just as much (especially those who've experience losses). You definitely don't want a "regular" person giving you advice.

    I love you gals! You are the best!
  • 3Princes 09-22-08 | 07:18 PM
  • Ok... let me add mine
    1. Your husband must be shooting blanks

    2. You need to buy this thing, it's called an ovulation predictor, and it tells you when to have sex

    3. My friend ____ stopped trying and she got pg (I do know someone who was waiting to do IVF and got pg with twins in the meantime)

    4. It's not your time

    5. You have it so good- look at me with x kids to take care of

    6. But you have 2 kids already

    There is a thread somewhere way back when where we had pages and pages like this. It was shocking some of the things they'd been told.

    I do try to remember that as much as those comments hurt us, they do not mean to. They're really trying to be supportive but just don't know what to say. I have a friend I recently got close with, and she knew what I was going through, and was someone who got pg in high school, (her oldest is 12 now, she married the same guy and is very stable) but anyway-- when she found out it didn't work this time, she just said "I feel so bad for you. I don't know what to say to you." That was so much better to hear. I have another friend at school whose daughter was going through IF and wound up adopting, and she would say certain things to me, and I would say to her, "don't EVER say that to your daughter." When this last IUI didn't work, she wrote me a card and said how much she always appreciated my support and wanted to be there for me but didn't know what to say. It's hard not to get angry, but I try not to--- they are only trying to be supportive.

    Anyway, I HOPE that everyone's gone off here soon and you're all on the DD boards.
Thank you 3Princes!
hopeful7 (09-22-08)

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