Funnies Archives

Jenn22 · 09-22-04, 07:40 PM

Yea !! GLinda !! WTG !!!!!!

Jenn22 · 09-22-04, 07:46 PM

I go forever forward, never looking back. My limit no one knows. More of me you lack. I can crawl, stand still, or fly, but am never gotten back. What am I ?

Good Luck !!!
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bogus · 09-23-04, 08:34 PM

Time

Jenn22 · 09-26-04, 07:51 AM

Good Going Bogus !!!

twinkletoes · 09-26-04, 10:27 PM

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.

Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this
morning on the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand
an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now,
just a minute, listen to my side of the story. This morning the alarm failed
to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried
out to the car, only to realize that I locked the house with both house and
car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. In doing so I tore
my suit and had to go upstairs and change. Then, driving a little too fast,
I got a speeding ticket. When I was about three blocks from the store, I gota flat tyre. Being late, my usual parking place had been taken and I had to
drive around to find another one. When I finally got to the store, there was
a bunch of people impatiently waiting for me to open up. I got the store
opened and started waiting on these people and all the time the dang phone
was ringing off the hook."

He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of 10 cent coins against the cash
register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got
down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins. The phone was still
ringing. When I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer which
made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on
it. All of them hit the floor and broke. Meanwhile, the phone is still
ringing with no let up, and I finally got to answer it. It was your wife.
She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and believe me Mister,
as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."