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Old 12-12-04, 01:16 PM
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Glinda, from time to time I think the exact same thing about the shot of methotrexate that I did. I listened to my RE (not Dr. L) and he told me that it was definitely not a "normal" pregnancy. I will always wonder if the u/s techs just missed it at the hospital or if for some reason my fibroids were hiding the sac from the u/s. I don't know....I guess we can't feel this way. Surely by a 9469 beta they should be able to see something. I think they can see something when the beta reaches 1000-2000. I know exactly how you feel. I just had a good cry about that little baby last night and it's such a horrible, gut wrenching feeling.

Thank you for not giving up on me and thank you for the angels. That made me cry.
 
When is your beta?? Have you pee'd on one of those evil sticks yet?
 


Thanks Monique. You are right. I guess I can't give up, but this is so heart crushing I can't stand it.
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Old 12-12-04, 05:28 PM
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I would never give up on you Maddy. I hope you know you're special to me (and to Rupert who got a hard on from playing with you
 
). And inheriting Caroline as part of the friendship was truly a bonus. We first bonded by being boxer moms. The bond got stronger as we went through our disasters at the same time. Our children, not just the 4 legged ones, WILL play together someday. We'll find some gay families/straight single mothers cruise to go on together
 


If I start peeing, I won't stop. First of all, I have a weak bladder so I can't hold it long enough. I woke up at 3:30 am to go to the bathroom and then I got up for the day at 7:00 am. What would that have shown? I'll strain my eyes staring at the stick searching for a line. Then I'll go blind and see spots for the rest of the day as I hold the stick up to the light for a hour. If I see a line, I'll wonder why the line is so light and start freaking. Then I'll rip apart the pee stick and just stare at the strip looking for any type of sign. I'll just keep peeing. No one and nothing would be safe. I'd pee on your leg if you walked by. I'd end up having a pee competition with Bella and Rupert with who could make the biggest puddle.

My beta is scheduled for Thursday.
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Old 12-12-04, 07:31 PM
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Glinda your'e too funny - and accurate! Thats just what i did. Took the hpt into different rooms, turned this light on and off, held it this way and that, threw it in the bin and got it out again. Finally after about 5 hrs i got it out of the bin and pulled it apart and scrutinised it and finally convinced myself there was no ghost 2nd line. If it looked like there was before then it was an evaporation line. I have not done a hpt since sat at 12 days. I figured i could retain a 5% hope that it was too early. I feel absolutely no symptoms. Rang my nurse (as its monday morning here now) and she said i can come in for beta tomorrow. I am stuggling to continue the gel, pessaries, progvnova if there's nothing there anyway and i need closure. I instructed my nurse to ring my DH with the results at home as i dont think i could take hearing the negative results at work. I am struggling to be here anyway.

Good luck Maddy. I believe there is hope for you. You have a number, thats a start. I always remember a story of a girl on my aussie board who had an initial beta of 9 and a terribly low prog level. I think her test was at 14 days maybe 16. She now has a 2 1/2yr old son as she insisted on PIO shots.
Back to work.
talk later.
JB
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Old 12-13-04, 04:37 PM
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JB, I hear stories like that and it does give me hope. I am clinging to my 8.27 # and praying to God this is a viable pregnancy. There is always hope. I talked to our Reverend at church this week (through tears) and she reminded me that this is on God's time.....not mine. And as much as I don't want to hear that, it actually gave me some peace. She told me that there is a little soul out there that will come to me. Maybe I am meant to be a mommy through adoption and that is God's master plan? I have never been a religious person (I do believe in God), but DP and I recently found this incredible church (The Center for Spiritual Awareness) and they have really been helping me feel better about this whole process. I always joked around and thought that people who wake up early on Sunday mornings to go to church must be NUTS! LOL!! But luckily the service is 11:45.
 
They offer prayer services after the service and we sat with one of the members who prayed for us and our baby. Again, it just brought me peace knowing that whatever comes of this pregnancy....it was a perfect one. Our little baby is surrounded by love, God, and our angels.

My RE is having me get some blood work done. They want to do karyotyping on me to see if there are any genetic things going on. She recommended having this done instead of PGD. I doubt I have any issues, but I guess it's better to be safe than sorry. Does anybody know of any other lab work that can be done on me? I want to get as much stuff done before 12/31 since I still have a few thousand dollars left on my infertility lifetime maximum. I have had most stuff done (plus the APA panel). I hear all this stuff about T3 and T4 (not exactly sure what it tells you) and I'm not even sure if I've ever had it done before. Does anybody know what this is and if I haven't had it done, should I?
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Old 12-13-04, 04:52 PM
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Thinking positive thought only for Maddy...
 


T3 and T4 are thyroid hormones...not sure it would help...
 
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