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I give up on being a mom again

I give up on being a mom again

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  • onespermy 12-21-04 | 11:56 PM
  • After seven years of trying I have desided that I'm not to be a mother again and that Sean is going to have to understand that he will never hear that word dad. I tested again today and it was negtive. I have never in my life felt like such a falure, but I guess this is what God has planed for us. I sometimes wonder I'm I not a good parent to my daughter is this why God will not let us have children. I know that I should be so happy that I have Marina and I am she is our world but to know that I will never get another chance to exsperence child birth never beable to enjoy being pregnant. Sorry I didn't have a great pregnancy with Marina her father beat me and raped me. I so much wanted to give my husband the chance to be a father and toexsperence every little thing about being pregnant. I hope and pray for all of you that you will not have to be where 'm sitting seven yeas later. will pray for you that you all will get a postive soon. I know that I have talked about IVF but I'm starting to think it is time to give up and go on with our lives. I don't know if I have told you guy what I'm going to school for well I'm going to school to be a social worker. My one dream is that I will be a consolor for couple with infertility. I live in a smll town that doesn't have any resorces for couples I will say for once I will be doing this for free because nothing about infertility is free and I want this to be one stress that couple don't have to worry about with me. I want to beable to help people find the help that they need and where to go for that help. As of next year I will be starting up a group for couple dealling with infertility because as we all know having someone to talk to that is going through the same thing helps. You guys have help me a lot and I hope that at times I will beable to call on you for all of your wisdom. I will also be a developmental theropist when I graduate this is where I work with family that have children with disablities so that maybe the child will over come them before they reach school age. This is how I will make my money so I can work witht he couples on the side.

    I will be around still to watch all of your postives because I love to hear about them and see all of your wonderful picture of your children. I know that you are all wonderful people and that you are going to make wonderful parents. May God Bless you with your wishes and may he always be in your hearts and prays.

    LOve you all
    Chistina (Onespermy)

    P.S. I hope someday insureance will be available for everyone and that infertility will be seen as a must on all insurance no matter what state you are in.
  • glinda glinda's Avatar 12-22-04 | 02:50 AM
  • Christina, as I've always said, you have a very big heart. I'm so sorry that it's aching right now. I'm very proud that you will be helping other couples cope with infertility. A truly selfless act.

    Christina, may God bless you and your miracle find you when you least expect it.

  • alicia67 alicia67's Avatar 12-22-04 | 07:10 AM


    Deciding to end IF treatment is a major decision. I wish you and Sean the best as you go through this change.
  • ~babydoll~ ~babydoll~'s Avatar 12-22-04 | 07:32 AM

    Christina I am so, so sorry this is happening to you. I know how you're feeling right now, as DH and I have decided to move on as well. Quitting without a baby hurts like hell, but like you, we are ready to end the hurt of trying and having our hearts broken time after time. If you want to "talk" some more, feel free to e-mail me at

    from the turkey.

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