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Old 05-22-05, 12:43 AM
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Sarah, I'm in California. I also have BC/BS (it's the Empire BCBS which I believe is out of New York since my ex-employer's headquarters is in NYC). I am really not sure why my company chose to cover fertility, but I do count my blessings!! There is no way I would have continued for as long as I have if it did not cover IUI's and IVF. I think it's because I worked in the music industry and it was very progressive. We had domestic partnership benefits, as well. We started TTC 3 years ago with IUI's, but I had a blocked tube (later it was removed because of an ectopic) so we moved onto IVF pretty quickly. I have done 3 fresh cycles and 2 frozen cycles and have enough embryo's for 3 or 4 more FET's. The only reason I ever chose the fertility path instead of adoption is because of my great insurance! I thought it would be cheaper to try to get pregnant than to adopt (plus I thought our only adoption option would cost $30,000. Later we looked into the fos/adopt system and it was FREE!).

Now that we have adopted Shaye I almost prefer to continue on the adoption path. I've always been a little nervous of mixing adopted and bio children because I never want there to be any kind of "I wasn't good enough" feelings (I'm sure a lot of adopted children sometimes wonder if they are loved less than biological children. Sad, but true). So, this last failed FET cycle wasn't that hard to deal with. My daughter has changed my life
 
and she is my heart. Adoption has changed our world!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-25-05, 05:21 PM
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How was your adoption free?



Quote:
Originally Posted by SnowboardMom2B
Sarah, I'm in California. I also have BC/BS (it's the Empire BCBS which I believe is out of New York since my ex-employer's headquarters is in NYC). I am really not sure why my company chose to cover fertility, but I do count my blessings!! There is no way I would have continued for as long as I have if it did not cover IUI's and IVF. I think it's because I worked in the music industry and it was very progressive. We had domestic partnership benefits, as well. We started TTC 3 years ago with IUI's, but I had a blocked tube (later it was removed because of an ectopic) so we moved onto IVF pretty quickly. I have done 3 fresh cycles and 2 frozen cycles and have enough embryo's for 3 or 4 more FET's. The only reason I ever chose the fertility path instead of adoption is because of my great insurance! I thought it would be cheaper to try to get pregnant than to adopt (plus I thought our only adoption option would cost $30,000. Later we looked into the fos/adopt system and it was FREE!).

Now that we have adopted Shaye I almost prefer to continue on the adoption path. I've always been a little nervous of mixing adopted and bio children because I never want there to be any kind of "I wasn't good enough" feelings (I'm sure a lot of adopted children sometimes wonder if they are loved less than biological children. Sad, but true). So, this last failed FET cycle wasn't that hard to deal with. My daughter has changed my life
 
and she is my heart. Adoption has changed our world!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-27-05, 04:31 PM
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We went through our county foster/adopt program. Not only did we find out it was free, but they pay us!!! I still have to laugh every month that check comes in the mail. I would have paid a trillion dollars for this baby!! I knew you got paid as a foster parent, but I never knew as an incentive they also continue to pay once adoptions are final and until the baby/child turns 18 years old. So, over 18 years we figured they will be giving us about $95,000 for her!! Talk about a GREAT start for Yale.
 
Actually, if she wants to go to a California state college, I think she qualifies for free tuition, but we have plenty of time to figure that one out. I can't remember exactly the college program she qualifies for. If that's the case (free tuition), $95,000 will be a great downpayment on her first home (or for her wedding!
 
LOL!).

We had such a great experience with her adoption that we are going to request another infant through the county in 2006. We ruled out international and domestic adoption just because we are not paying attorney's $30,000. I would rather donate $30,000 to a worthy children's cause. We also found out that there are hundreds of children every year right here in our very own county that need loving homes. Our daughter's birthmom asked that she be adopted because she was just not able to be a parent. We got lucky with no appeals and nobody contested her adoption. It's amazing to have a beautiful, happy, healthy child and I feel like the luckiest person alive every second of every day!!!

Have you ever considered adoption? I know that it took me a long time to grieve the loss of being pregnant. I'm glad we did IVF and we will continue with FET's (we have enough for 3 or 4 more tries), but I never imagined adoption being this blissful!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-31-05, 01:57 PM
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We have talked about adoption but the cost is so much. Can you explain in more detail your program? That sounds awesome!

sarah2016
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnowboardMom2B
We went through our county foster/adopt program. Not only did we find out it was free, but they pay us!!! I still have to laugh every month that check comes in the mail. I would have paid a trillion dollars for this baby!! I knew you got paid as a foster parent, but I never knew as an incentive they also continue to pay once adoptions are final and until the baby/child turns 18 years old. So, over 18 years we figured they will be giving us about $95,000 for her!! Talk about a GREAT start for Yale.
 
Actually, if she wants to go to a California state college, I think she qualifies for free tuition, but we have plenty of time to figure that one out. I can't remember exactly the college program she qualifies for. If that's the case (free tuition), $95,000 will be a great downpayment on her first home (or for her wedding!
 
LOL!).

We had such a great experience with her adoption that we are going to request another infant through the county in 2006. We ruled out international and domestic adoption just because we are not paying attorney's $30,000. I would rather donate $30,000 to a worthy children's cause. We also found out that there are hundreds of children every year right here in our very own county that need loving homes. Our daughter's birthmom asked that she be adopted because she was just not able to be a parent. We got lucky with no appeals and nobody contested her adoption. It's amazing to have a beautiful, happy, healthy child and I feel like the luckiest person alive every second of every day!!!

Have you ever considered adoption? I know that it took me a long time to grieve the loss of being pregnant. I'm glad we did IVF and we will continue with FET's (we have enough for 3 or 4 more tries), but I never imagined adoption being this blissful!!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-07-05, 01:22 AM
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Sarah, what specifically would you like to know? I'll try and give it to you in a nutshell. What state do you live in? Every state has a foster/adopt program. You basically have to attend classes (we went to 8 of them - every Wed. for 3 hours). They are called PRIDE classes here in California. After your 8 weeks of class (or however many your state requires), you have to take CPR and first aid. You will also need to be fingerprinted. We also had to take an 8 hour class on a Saturday that explained all the foster care regulations. After you "graduate" from the PRIDE class you are sent to the adoption workers and they conduct a homestudy (they come to your house and ask you a bunch of questions about your childhood, how you would discipline a child, if you went through fertility treatments, etc.). They will ask you what age child you would like (infant, toddler, teenager) and also if there is a ethnic preference. That took us about 4 months (we had 4 visits, I think) and it is a VERY in depth look at your life. The more open you are to ages and races, the quicker you will get a baby. We told them we wanted a baby from 0 to 1 (I think originally we said 2) that was caucasian, hispanic, or a mixture of the 2. Once your homestudy is complete you wait.......sometimes a day.....sometimes 6 months (depending on how open you are to age and race). We actually got a call about Shaye BEFORE our homestudy was done. We had a wonderful social worker (I later found out she was a HUGE advocate for us. I guess she liked us! Hehehehe...) who called us and said "we have a 5 week old healthy, hispanic/caucasian baby girl who is free for adoption and she is yours! You and DP are the perfect match for this baby girl!" and was at our house two hours later with our daughter. Parental rights were terminated in April and her adoption was never contested. Sometime around July 18th we make it official in court (but she has officially been my daughter in my heart since the second I saw her!!).

I truly do believe it's not always this easy. Our SW's have told us that a lot of parents contest and it can drag out for years. But we were NOT open to any baby that was not free for adoption (they can usually tell by the birthmother's history) Ours was a very special case, but if you are very clear in what you are willing to deal with and you have a good SW, things should work out great. We are going back for baby #2 sometime in 2006. And probably #3 and #4 in 2007 and 2008!
 
We'll see how it goes with two.
 


If I can answer any questions, let me know! (sorry I didn't see your post sooner. I try to keep up with this board, but haven't been back in a few weeks).
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