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Old 11-26-05, 02:46 PM
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Default So this is where I'm at...

I had my ER yesterday and they got 6 eggs, I wasn't happy but was too out of it to "feel anything". Dh took me home and I slept for 6 hrs, got up and went BACK to bed till the phone rang at 10:00 this morning. Half asleep they tell me that 2 of the 6 were not viable and out of the 4 they icsi'd only 2 fertilized normally. So I only have 2 embryos, if they even last till Monday transfer. I can't believe out of 3 times I've done this I never have anything to freeze! I can't believe this?! I'm pissed off, depressed, discouraged and did I mention pissed off?! It's like why even bother? I told them I wanted to be agressive, does this sound agressive? No. I am done with this place. It's not like anyone has said "Stacy, it's your eggs maybe we should look at donor" or anything like that. They just say "I don't know why it's not working". Duh, your the Dr.!

I'm sorry for the rant, I've been yelling at the stupid people on t.v. all morning and poor dh doesn't know what to do. I just want to scream. And cry. This is the most self defeating process I've ever put myself through. I don't even feel like starting those &$@* progestrone shots tonight because I feel like it's just more pain I'm putting myself through for no reason.

I'm sorry Julie and Bonnie for being so negative during your time too. I probably sound completely selfish being that so far I do have 2 embryos. I just needed to get this out.
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Old 11-26-05, 03:27 PM
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Stacy, I hear you. I had NINE frozen and ended up with only three surviving and the quality was pretty marginal. What the hell? AND we did donor so where were the 20+ we thought we were going to get? But here I am pg. So don't GIVE UP YET!! I know you're mad and of course this is all a bunch of crap but this whole business is made of miracles so. you just never know. The told me my first transfer we had 80% chance and we got a BPN. The frozen cycle was 23% then even lower when they found out the quality so come on!! Cheer up, try and stay positive for just a little longer and do your shots. You've come way too far to give up now. After your curse me out for being so positive give yourself a cry then get ready to get those sticky babies back!!! Leslie
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Old 11-26-05, 04:54 PM
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Stacy...I did 2 cycles and didn't have any to freeze on either cycle. Cycle 1 they retrieved 7 eggs (1 good fertilization and 2 very poor quality)...cycle 2 they retrieved 8 eggs and did ICSI (3 fertilized) and here I am pg with twins. I felt just like you did after my retrieval. I cried and was soooooo mad because of the few eggs they got. I told them to be aggressive also and it was the same story. Don't give up. Atleast you have 2. It is a very frustrating process but in a way, it makes it that much better to finally get a BFP. Have a good cry/scream and then pick yourself up and get positive again. You can do this!!!!!!
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Old 11-26-05, 09:18 PM
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Stacy my heart goes out to you. I am so, so sorry you didn't get more embies and I can totally understand how ticked off, hurt, and disappointed you are right now. You're right - this seems like a totally self-defeating process. Please don't feel you need to apologize for the rant in any way - that's what we're here for!

But remember - you are still in the game!!!!! Please be strong and hang in there - you are way past due for a BFP. Is your transfer Monday? I'm praying that those embryos divide like crazy and feel all cozy when they get to their new home and just dig right in.

Have you taken those prog shots?

Please keep us posted!

Thinking of you,
Julie
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Old 11-27-05, 12:27 AM
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Thanks girls. Man I had myself a good blood curdling cry today. I think I freaked dh out, he was holding me and crying right along with me. It was a long time coming. I know I need to try to be positive and yes I did do my PIO shots (cried the whole way through that too). I just feel so drained and all I want to do is sleep. In all of these months, 2 yrs of trying, I've never felt like this.

I didn't curse you out Leslie, you actually made me smile. And then I followed your suggestion for a BFC (big fat cry). Then dh thought we should watch my favorite movie (Shrek) and it did make me feel better. So here I am, gathering up my poor pitiful self and plan to start tomorrow on a better note. As long as that witch from my RE's office doesn't wake me up with some more bad news!! lol

Love you guys, night night.
 
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