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Old 03-04-05, 07:31 AM
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Hi all,

I am sat at home on a day off trying to tidy the house for family coming to visit next week and having a think to myself I felt like chatting about.

Next week my brother and sister in law visit with their 7, 4 and 2 year old and a new born baby. I am looking forward to this very much as I dont see them often they live 10 hours away but at the same time I am as usual desperately trying to squeeze that awful, sad, dissapointed part of my myself away in a little box so I can enjoy thier visit. That part of me that loves kids and loves my neices and nephews but that hurts so very bad when I play with them and take them out because me and my dh dont yet know the joy of having children. That strange little part that goes to the playground with them and likes to hope that the other parents in the playground may think for one minute the kids our ours. It is so hard to watch my brother and sister in law have baby after baby 3 since we started trying for a baby.

It is so hard every christmas me and dh buy each other expensive gift as "this year will be the last year we wont have kids and the last christmas we can spent a lot of money on each other" but 5 christmas days have past each year we think it will be our last one with no baby. Plus another hard thing I had to do this week is change cars, what that got to do with having a baby???? Well it is the 2nd car we have bought, 5 door and room for a baby seat with children in mind and thinking we will be bringing our new baby home in this car. But no my 2nd car died this week and we have had to get a new one. So all I can do is suck it up and look at my new car in the renewed hope that THIS car is the car we will be putting a baby seat in.

Ok I am done moaning guess I am just looking for reassurance I am not going mad and not completely alone in this bonkers world that is infertility!

Ruthx
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Old 03-04-05, 12:26 PM
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You WILL get there...
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Old 03-04-05, 06:44 PM
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I'm sure it will be ok - you're so strong. You will have a great visit and I'm glad you realize that this IS the car you will be strapping your baby in!
 
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Old 03-05-05, 01:25 AM
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I totally get where you are coming from.....I struggle everyday with many of the same issues.I sometimes feel like maybe God keeps putting all these obsticles in my way because I am not meant to have children.We had to put off ttc for many many years due to $$$$$ reasons,my husbands congestive heart failure,a car accident and finally after 10 failed iuis we still have no baby....my sister is willing to carry a baby for me but its one thing after another with this process too.We seem to be right back at square one. Sometimes i feel like saying enough is enough and throwing in the towell but that little part of me that just cant quit always wins.What I meant to say is im sorry things take so long for some of us. I wish you the bestand hope and pray you will be seeing that much awaited ++++++ sometime really soon. Take care I will keep you in my prayers
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