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Old 07-24-05, 03:40 PM
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Default spousal support

I need help. I am trying to do everything that I can to support my wife through our experience with IVF. I cook dinner and clean the kitchen every night. I do my best washing and folding clothes and keeping the house clean. I have gone with her to every ultrasound appointment that she has had and I try to ask her how she is doing and how she is feeling. I am also trying to spend more time with her even if it means sitting through tv shows with her. She is upset because I am not supporting her. Please share your opinion.
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Old 07-24-05, 05:31 PM
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Oh my gosh, you sound like a saint! My hubby doesn't do half that stuff
 
Maybe she means emotional support? Sounds like you are doing your part as far as physical stuff. IVF is really hard on us women. I know it is tough on the guys too, but it's different. She is probably extremely emotional (from all the meds. getting pumped into her body), she's probably tired, and just plain old cranky (atleast I was). I know it made me feel better when my dh gave me a big hug for no reason, or asked me how I was doing. Sometimes she won't be able to control her emotions and you will just have to ride the wave. Good luck and hang in there. Missy
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Old 07-24-05, 06:14 PM
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You do sound like a saint!!!

It sounds like you are doing everything right and I urge you to continue doing exactly what you're doing. She is having a VERY difficult time right now. Don't get me wrong, I know you are too but the fertility drugs are very rough on us. Emotions, physical and mental exhaustion, feeling uncomfortable from weight gain, bloating, shots, etc. It takes a huge toll. She's probably scared to death that this isn't going to work. I'm sure she's also worried about disappointing you. My husband couldn't have been more supportive through my 3 IVF cycles. He was wonderful too but he's by far the person I am closest to and it was natural for me to take things out on him, even though I didn't mean to.

Hang in there! Things will get better & you two will get through this together. Best of luck to both of you! And I agree with Missy......give her a huge hug! Hold her at night. Let her cry on your shoulder for no reason at all. She's probably feeling out of control emotions that she's never felt before. Surprise her with a candlelight dinner or make an appointment for her to get a manicure or pedicure. It will help!
 


Dee
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Old 07-24-05, 06:40 PM
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You really sounds like you are doing a lot to help out and show your support. I'm going to make my husband read your post so he can follow suit. I agree with Missy, your wife is probably just so emotional from all the medciation. It can make you feel really cranky and miserable at times. Just keep it up, I'm sure she will appreciate it in the end.
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Old 07-24-05, 09:08 PM
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Wow, wish my hubby would do a 3rd of what you do. Keeping taking care of things, and know that the hormones do make us ping
 
a little. Know that you two are both working towards a great reward (children), you sound like you're doing a great job of supporting your wife, and I applaud you, give her time and hopefully she will to.
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