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Old 11-22-05, 09:04 AM
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Hi Stacy,

I'm so sorry you're feeling down. I do think it's helpful to try to be positive, but I also believe it's OK to let yourself be down in the dumps sometimes, and to share it with those who are going through this too. IMHO, the #1 most difficult thing about this process (so far!) - not the shots, not the meds (and they SUCK!) - is walking the fine line between being positive and hopeful, and yet being "realistic", as my RE warned me. There are statistics, but then there are plenty of women who beat every conceivable odd. So what are we left with? NOT KNOWING, and being in a situation almost completely beyond our control and one which will affect the rest of our lives! It's enough to drive any thoughtful person mad!

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I believe feeling black is intrinsically part of this bizarre high-tech journey. BTW, the other day I started a long bummer of a post too and erased it, LOL! It was way too negative, even for me!

I do hope you feel better soon. I've been listening to my favorite music really loud lately - sounds even better when I'm totally depressed and is healthier than chocolate, although I've had some of that too! And posting here is a Godsend.

BTW, I had a headache-free evening yesterday! I am wondering if it was the three glasses of water I made myself drink before dinner? (dehydration theory). Want to try it too & see if it works?

Thinking of you....
Julie
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Old 11-22-05, 09:08 AM
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And Good Luck On Friday!!!!!!!!
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Old 11-22-05, 10:20 AM
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Hey Julie and StacyLynn-
I can totally understand what you are both going thru we all go thru it. I mean I was on my last cycle, I knew we could not do it again. The first ended in miscarriage w/ no embies left. Went in this time w/ higher stims, positive, but that was cut quickly when I did not respond as well. On the day of my retrieval I knew I had 4 EGGS posisbly 6, when I came out of the retrieval and the nurse said "hey we got 4 eggs" I cried all the way home. I just knew I was not to be a Mom and the fact that once the fertilized them my changes of having all 4 take were very slim. I could not wait for that call from the Dr. I was nervous, upset, crying...then I found out that 3 fertilized. The nurses were good to me, saying it only takes 1! and she was right, I was for sure it did not work and here I am almost 15 weeks pregnant. So having 8 follies is WONDERFUL! StacyLynn, it is quality not quanity....I learned that the hard way. But being negative/black is part of this process, but do know that you both can and will be Mommies. We are all rooting for you. Hang in there you are almost there...keep us posted. BTW I think Missy had a similar story and she is having TWINS! So be strong like I know that you are and good luck with it. Trust me I thought my cycle was going to be cancelled w/ just 4 eggs...but it wasn't and I am ever Thankful.
Allison
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Old 11-22-05, 01:19 PM
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Allison, You are an ispiration!

I know about the black moods...I'm fighting off depression constantly through the process of IVF. I have so many ups and downs I've assessed myself for bipolar disorder-I'm not...just going through a natural, expected, normal repsonse to a very tough situation. It is really hard not to have control over your destiny! It is also hard to want something so much and be willing to do just about anything to get it and be told "no". Add to that trying to do this not just for yourself but for the person in your life you love the most- your partner, and Bham! It is a recipe for depression!!!! I've been doing lots of meditation and have spent a lot of time thinking about everything in my life I'm thankful for...that usally busts me out of my pity party! I'm trying really hard to remember that there is is GOOD plan for my life-even if it isn't the one I have my eye on!
How's that for philosophy??
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Old 11-22-05, 02:25 PM
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Allison & Bonnie,

Love your philosophies! Thanks for your support!

Julie
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