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Thinking about IVF

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  • dslarimer 11-12-06 | 01:33 AM
  • Hi everyone -

    My husband and I are strongly considering IVF. We have been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years. We found out early on that he had verococeles (sp.?). The doctor told us that if he had the surgery to repair them there would be a very high chance of the sperm count rising enough to do IUI. Surgery was about a year and a half ago. We went in last month to do the IUI and there was not enough sperm to have even a remote chance of conception. So, our next step was to see a doctor for infertility at the fertility clinic. He really sold us on the idea of IVF. I am just scared that I will start obsessing (as if I haven't already) and that it won't work. I want some feedback on how people deal with the expense, the worry, and perhaps the disappointment. I would love any information that anyone is willing to share.

    thank you
  • micheleindelaware 11-12-06 | 12:18 PM
  • Quote de dslarimer
    I want some feedback on how people deal with the expense, the worry, and perhaps the disappointment. I would love any information that anyone is willing to share.
    Hi- first I just wanted to say welcome....I just recently started using this forum as well....I've been hanging out on another one- but needed some input on some of our options so came here. Anyway- so welcome

    As for some of your questions....

    Luckily for us- our insurance has picked up 70% of our IVF cycles. The medicine on the other hand has a cap on it- they've picked up so much- but once they've picked up the certain amount- the rest has been on us- that's been the most costly part of the process so far
    So you'll just have to find out what your insurance is and isn't going to cover so you can start to prepare on that end- that does help elimante some of the stress factor.

    Well, nothing and I mean NOTHING can really prepare you for that. I really think that is just part of it- no matter whether you're trying on your own or if you're doing other fertility treatments. I really just think it's part of the process. No matter how calm you try to keep yourself- you're ALWAYS going to be thinking about it- believe me.

    Well, that's the sucky part- I'm NOT going to lie...there is & can be disappointmen with IVF- it comes w/ the territory- unfortuantely
    My dh & I have been through it TWICE already & when you find out it hasn't worked- it HURTS like no other hurt you've experience before- unless maybe you've had a miscarriage
    But, you also know that was a possibilty and you just have to let yourself go through the motions and then pick yourself back up again & TRY AGAIN IF you can and WHEN you can

    With all of that being said- just remember that going down the IVF road is an exciting process as well as VERY, VERY grueling. It's a LONG CRAZY ROAD and you'd better be HOLDING ON TIGHT TO ONE ANOTHER...
    On the other hand- there have been ladies on this site and others and it has taken for them the FIRST TIME!!!
    So you might not even have to worry about all that other stuff. I'm just letting you know the other side to it- so IF you're on that side too- you're a little bit prepared. Plus, EVERYONE has their own experience.

    My dh & I have been ttc for almost two years now. I've had endo- had surgery to remove that- in that process we found out that I had small & damage tubes- which is why IVF was our best chance of having our own baby. We've done IVF twice now- but have also found out during the process that b/c I'm young and I have responded well to stimulation- but only a few of my eggs are being fertilized each time- that I have poor egg quality
    So that's why IVF might not be working for us either & that's when our doctor threw in our direction the option of using a donor egg?? That's why I came here- to find out if anybody has done IVF that way and also to get info. on adoption. We have one frozen embie from our first cycle. They think my endo. has come back-so we're probably going to do surgery again and transfer my frozen embie. If that doesn't work- then we need to decide if we're going to use a donor egg or just start the adoption process??

    Anyway, sorry this response is so long- but I just wanted to share my experience with you- NOT trying or wanting to scare you- just letting you know there is a disappointing side- just as when you're trying on your own and not aware there are underlying medical reasons why it's not working on its own. BUT, there is a GREAT AND POSITIVE side too...I really HOPE you'll hear from those ladies too

    Hope that helps and PLEASE feel free to ask my ANY QUESTIONS...I have no problems talking about it
  • dslarimer 11-12-06 | 02:38 PM
  • thank you for your response! I don't know that there is anything that will put my mind at ease.
    [SIZE=2]I know our insurance covers the testing, but the rest is up to us. So, I figure at a minimum we are looking at $13,000. We are going to the clinic next week to see what financing options are available.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=2]I have a personal question, if you don't want to answer, I understand, but what causes "poor egg quality?" I have been worrying about that (for no apparent reason yet!) - like what if after all of this, my eggs are bad? I have been a smoker in the past and I do consume alcohol and have since I was 21 (I am 34 now). I did talk to the DR. about it a little, but he didn't get to into that at our first visit.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=2]I have one friend who implanted three the first time and is pregnant with one of the three. And I know another couple who have done IVF numverous times and they have one baby as a result. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=2]I am obsessing about it - I wish that I wouldn't but I can't stop![/SIZE]
    [SIZE=2]Sorry for the rambling - thanks for any further info you can give me![/SIZE]
  • micheleindelaware 11-12-06 | 06:05 PM
  • Hi Danielle- I don't mind you asking ANYTHING...really- I've been through so much over this past year that NOTHING really phases me anymore??

    I'm sure there are reasons for poor egg quality such as age, etc. But in my case...I'm only 29 but I have eggs of a thirtysomething year old?? Mine is probably from the damage from my endo.??

    As for how you've been feeling about your eggs- maybe it's gut instinct trying to tell you something & maybe it's nothing at all?? I'm sure after you go through all of your testing- you and your doctors will have a better idea? Also after you go through an IVF cycle- they'll be able to see how you respond to the medications and how you stimulate etc. Just from that alone they'll have a better idea of where things are at for the two of you.

    Danielle- ANYTIME you want to ask me something- PLEASE feel free to-okay?? I had only WISHED I would've known MORE about IVF before we started trying- then maybe I would've been more prepared. But, I don't think anyone is really ever prepared for the fertility treatments they have to go through. I'm sure we've ALL have always thought- we'd have NO PROBLEMS and be pregnant in no time- I sure thought that about me. But after about 5-6 months of trying- I just had a gut feeling that there was something wrong w/ me- especially since I came from a LONG LINE of fertile merytles

    Anyway, PLEASE keep in touch & if you think of anything else- I check back here at least once a day- okay??

    Believe me too when I say I know what you mean about being obessed w/ it all. I'm still like that & probably ALWAYS will be until we end up pregnant and/or have a child through adoption. I know I won't stop until we have that- it's just the way I am- I can't help it. So I guess I'm trying to say you're not alone in that feeling & it's okay

    Take care,
  • dslarimer 11-12-06 | 11:43 PM
  • Michele -

    I appreciate your willingness to discuss IVF with me. I am really scared to do the injections, I am not a big fan of needles at all. One of my cats was just diagnosed with diabetes and I have to give him a shot twice a day, however, it took me a good few weeks to become comfortable with it. I can't imagine having to stick myself in the stomach! I told my husband that he was going to have to do that for me. He used to be a vet tech (he has been a police officer for 6 years now) so he is used to giving shots!

    I am totally obsessing about this. I think of all of the alcohol I have consumed over the years and all the cigarrettes I used to smok and think that it could cause "poor egg quality."

    A few months after my husband and I got married I missed a period, which my cycle is like clock-work so I was convinced I was pregnant. I took two HPT's and they were both negative, but I still hadn't started my period. Then I went to the doctor for a blood test and it was negative. After that we had his fertility tested which led to discovering the vericose veins in his testicles. In April of '05 he had surgery to repair them which cost us about $5000.00 out of pocket since it was for "fertility purposes." That didn't do much for his sperm count, so here we are.

    The doctor said we would try the IVF in January, but I will ovulate in mid-December, so does that mean two months of taking shots, or do you think I will start the shots after my cycle in December? I know that you can't give me medical advice, but I wanted to see if you had been though a similar timing thing.

    Sorry for the rambling -