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Old 12-20-05, 09:51 AM
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Rhonda my heart goes out to you - this is a very difficult thing to go through around the holidays. I agree with Bonnie, there's not much you can do, it's really out of your hands. Here's something that the clinic gave me that helped me. I read it when I was feeling crappy:

"Once your embryo transfer has taken place, there is nothing you can or cannot do to influence the outcome. It is out of your control. Feelings of pessimism don't change the outcome, getting angry at someone won't change the outcome, and bouncing off the walls won't change the outcome. You get the idea; don't worry about your potential mood swings, feelings of irritablilty, jealousy, anxiety, etc, because although they may not be pleasant to experience, they have no impact on any potential pregnancy. You are officially off the hook."

I hope you feel better and am rooting for you! Is your beta on Friday?

Julie
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Old 12-20-05, 10:06 AM
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Rhonda-Julie says it perfect. I was the same way. I went thru my first IVF last Dec as well and I thought I was bending too much, wrapping to much, shopping to much, but in actuallity it was not any of that at all. It is truly out of our control. I know it is easy to say now since I am past the 2ww wait and all, but just know that you have done all that you can to make a happy and healthy environment for your embies.
We are all praying for you and can't wait to hear the good news on Friday, not too long now. Hang in there. We all know what you are going thru, don't beat yourself up over something that is not in your control. I think the Holidays in general are stressful enough then having to go thru all of this makes it tougher, but you are tough so give yourself a break. We are rooting for ya.
Allison
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Old 12-20-05, 08:20 PM
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Thanks for the support. I was actually doing really well until about Sunday night and then it felt as if the hormones came on full blast and sadness swept across me. I am working hard at fighting it and trying to keep a positive attitude, which I am successful at most of the time. Sometimes, however, the feelings that come with this whole process (sadness, fear, frustration, envy...) win out, as they apparently did last night when I wrote that message! I am sure that everything will work out for the best. I just get tired sometimes of feeling like our lives are on hold.

On the bright side, I know that there is a ton of things that give me reason to smile everyday. My DH is my best friend and has been great throughout this whole journey, and my dog gives me added reason to rush home at the end of everyday. In a weird way, I also know how lucky I am to even have the opportunity to go through the IVF process. For many, it isnt a viable option, either physically or financially. When I get down, those thoughts definitely help me shake it off.
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Old 12-20-05, 09:24 PM
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I'm with ya sister! As bitter a pill as it is to swallow, I agree we are indeed lucky to have had the opportunity to go through this process. And I loved reading about the things that make you smile every day. Ditto for the DH & the pooch! And friends and family and health and a roof over our heads, even though it leaks sometimes! I'm sending you some more "shake it off" vibes and keeping my fingers crossed for you on Friday.

Julie
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Old 12-21-05, 10:02 AM
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Rhonda-
I am crying ready your post, you are right, dh and dog, I feel the same way about mine! And the fact that I was able to do IVF twice. Two was my limit. Sounds like you have alot to be grateful for and even more so on Friday. We will be thinking about you. All of your emotions are normal, hang in there. Allison
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