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Baby Corner Message Board > Birth Clubs > 2012 Birth Clubs > October 2012 Birth Club New Mom, really really scared and soo may questions?!



New Mom, really really scared and soo may questions?!

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Old 06-19-12, 08:20 PM
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Unhappy New Mom, really really scared and soo may questions?!

Okay, Im due on Oct. 17th 2012 its now June 18th. Im having a boy, Ryan. And Im a first time mom. Im really scared about going into labor, getting to the hospital in time, the pain it comes with, getting the epidural(I think thats the way Im gonna want to go cuz I cant handle pain!!) and the actual giving birth part. I also am worried about how sex will be after I do give birth...I know women are made to give birth, but Im not too sure about that. I mean, Ive heard good and bad stories about how it has changed and effected sex lives. I dont want the baby to ruin what me and my boyfriend have enjoyed for years, though it definately wont change the way I love the baby, Im just not too sure about how well it will "go back to normal" or not. I need any advice that will help, will be nice. thanks.
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Old 06-20-12, 07:55 AM
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Hi Nicki.. first, welcome to Baby Corner, and congratulations! I did move this thread to the Due on October board as it is more relevant.

I won't lie and say your feelings are unfounded. I think all women are scared about childbirth, and also their relationship with their partner after birth. I didn't have an epidural, but had a sedative with my first, and the second, they couldn't get the IV in, so it was without any pain management at all! Childbirth will be different for everyone based on their pain threshold, but believe me, it will be well worth it, and you won't even be thinking anything of it once you look into those beautiful eyes and meet your baby for the first time. During labor and after, I mostly remember being very tired more than anything. Yes, it hurt, but it wasn't more than I could handle.

As far as your relationship with your boyfriend, it will change, yes. You will have a new baby to love and care for. You should look at it as an adventure for the two of you. A new phase of your relationship. Communication is very important, and you need to discuss your fear with your boyfriend, and perhaps he will be able to ease your fears. You are a team! He's there to support you and love you, and be there for you and your baby through the pregnancy and after. He will want to know about your fears. If you don't disclose them, you will always be wondering and that may put a damper on things, as well as adding unneeded stress for your baby. He most likely feels the same way you do! So it would be best to tell him, and put your fears to rest.

As far as sex. I remember it was a little different yes, but not that much different. It will take a little while for your body to heal. The standard is no sex for 6 weeks following childbirth. Make sure you don't have sex before or you will regret it! After that, then plan for a romantic evening and make it special for the two of you. Do kegel exercises to get everything back to normal faster, and make sure you are eating healthy and getting plenty of rest!
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Old 06-30-12, 12:04 PM
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I was scared too, very scared. I had my first in March. It went better than expected. I got the Epidural and it was WONDERFUL. i highly recommend it, but to each its own. Everyone had told me horror stories about pain and what not. But the actual Epidural shot did not bother me at all. they just make you sit haunched over in an awkward position with a big belly in the way lol. The contractions will bother you a little at first, depending on your body, but after the Epidural you DON'T feel anything at all! not even your legs lol. Once you see your baby and hold him for the first time you will forget the labor you just went through and it will be well worth it!
Afterwards, You'll be sore, but they will give you some pain medicine. Just SLEEP when baby Sleeps, Best advice ever, because if not, You wont get any sleep, you'll be stressed, and your body will take longer to heal.
Definitely do the kegel exercises, after 6 weeks i promise you, everything seems to be back to normal again 'down there'
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