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OTgrl · #1 09-26-08, 04:07 PM

I need advice. I'm 9 months pregnant with my 2nd child, so my patience is limited anyways. Here's the scoop:
My daughter turned 2 this past Monday. She is in a "big girl bed" and transitioned fairly well about a month ago. For the past few weeks, bedtime has become a nightmare. She no longer wants to sit on our lap in a rocker to read books, so we offer 2 choices, either on the bed or in the rocker. She'll say "on the bed" so I'll say okay, let's get on your bed. Then she says, "No, rocker." Then I'll say, "Okay let's sit on the rocker." She says, "No, bed." This goes on forever. This same situation goes for sitting on the potty or getting her diaper changed, wanting the blanket on or off, having her turn the light on or off, turning her music on or off. It's always opposite of what she will originally say. So I'll just say "Good night, I love you," and leave the room. Then she freaks out a cries and my husband and I end up having to go up to her room 3-4 times. I understand that this is typical 2 year old behavior, but she used to be so good with nightime routine and now it's gown downhill. Someone please give me some advice on how to deal with my daughter. Thank you.

skyqueen · #2 09-26-08, 05:16 PM

well, I guess it is time to elimiate choices if she's going to use them against you.

Start telling her "if you want a book you have to make a choice and stick with it, otherwise, you get no book"
Or - simply say "okay, you get 2 books if you cooperate and sit quietly on the bed. No monkey business or you have to go straight to bed"

Or - "No - you can't change your mind. Tonight you chose bed. Tomorrow, you can choose rocker if you want to change tomorrow".

stuff like that.

If she's using the flip flopping to stall. Then cut it off. Just tell her 'you get to make one choice and you have to stick with it".
yes, 2 year olds understand that.
They might not like it, but you're the boss. They'll conform if they know you mean business.

I'm still saying "I'm not goofing around. If you don't make a choice, I'm going to make it for you. You have 5 seconds. 5 - 4 - 3 - ... " they usually start running around and making their choice before I get to 2
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Just start being more matter-of-factual with her.
they say that it helps if kids get to make decisions,.... but if they're using it as a weapon against you to serve their own agendas, then you have to reel back in the power. Sometimes, we spoil things being too giving, or soft, or lenient etc. And then again, some kids just need to be told what to do and have a hard time with decisions so those kids should probably be limited with their decisions until they get better at it.

good luck!
and btw - best wishes for a healthy and happy delivery with #2 soon.

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stick around and join the playgroups here at TBC. You'll find many amazing and wonderful women with whom you can share your joys and pains.

~babydoll~ · #3 09-26-08, 09:28 PM

Welcome to the boards!
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It really sounds to me like you're doing the right thing, but the 3-4 visits back to her room have to stop. They are achieving the same end for her, which is attention. It will be quite unpleasant for a short period of time, but when your behavior changes, hers will too. Be firm and matter-of-fact, but loving in your tone. Hang in there and good luck!

If you haven't already, visit us on the 2006 babies board too.
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