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Baby Corner Message Board > Trying to Conceive Message Boards > Trying To Conceive "Come to Jesus" meeting (more of a long vent!)



"Come to Jesus" meeting (more of a long vent!)

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Old 11-24-08, 04:29 PM
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My DH makes comments occasionally similar to what yours has said. I will try to give my input.

1st, my dh and I have a 14 yr age difference, me being younger and only having one child from a prev relationship, I wanted more babies, when we first started dating he was absolutly done with babies he has 3 from ex, (even hinting at the idea of abortion if I ever did get prego, which ofcourse I let him know he could go jump in a lake.)

Anyway we did in fact have sex w/out protection (he was aware) and we were blessed with our beautiful Wyatt(3yrs now). It was like the minute we got that BFP, he changed. He loves Wy more than life itself.

What my point here is I think men get to a point where they are comfy and something that they think might interupt that, they are against. He is a grown man and if he truly doesnt want any more babies then he should voice that and you all can go from there. But in my case my Dh knew the night we concieved Wy there was no protection being used and it was a blessing. Your Dh is going along with you and your TTC efforts, then he should keep his negative comments to himself.

And like I said before if he truly doesn't want anymore babies he needs to say that flat out!!!!!!

We didn't plan our last baby but we embraced it when it happened and then we lost it and it made me realize I was ready for another baby. At this point if we never get prego again my DH will be fine, but if we do I know he will be thrilled (even if he doesn't realize it right now). Perhaps your DH is the same way, it is just change and perhaps some small sacrifices he may have to make that he is afraid of right now.

Sorry that was so long!!!
Good Luck
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Old 11-24-08, 05:55 PM
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What a PUTZ!!!
 


You did the right thing and it sounds like he came to his senses (as well he should have!!
 
).


 
to you and
 
that you get good 'n knocked up this cycle!!
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Old 11-24-08, 07:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark'sbabygirl
 
Jeanne- I know it's really none of my business, but since you posted I am assuming you want our opinions. I think your husband REALLY doesn't want another baby, but he won't just come out and say it because he loves you and wants you to be happy. What leads me to think this is that he is saying one thing and then acting another. He tells you he will do it for you, but then makes comments. The reason he is making the comments is that deep down he really doesn't want another baby, but he doesn't want to hurt his wonderful wife. Giving and taking in normal everyday stuff is one thing, but a BABY is a huge decision. We try to go by the philosophy that with BIG decisions- if one person says no, it's no. I know how much you want to have another baby, but what I here is your husband being resentful. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but in my opinion it is obvious that DH doesn't want to go through all this again and just wants to be a happy family. If you want a happy husband, I would think twice about trying to have another. Just wanted to be honest with you.

I am absoultely fine with honest opinions. That's what makes the world go 'round, eh?
 


I have really thought about what you said too (before you said it). I guess my point was that soooo many people on this board, in real life, and all around the world have these little "oops" babies where they and/or their dhs don't plan for a pregnancy but they are blessed nonetheless, which is great for them, and I am nothing but happy for these people. I've finally learned with my 2nd pregnancy that getting pg "just like that" is normal, and I'm NOT normal... and I've learned that it's something I have to suck it up and deal with. However, I feel almost penalized because I know there's no possible way that whole little "oops" scenario could happen to us. So because I have to work for my pregnancies, I deserve them less? My dh has said over and over he would be just fine with a "surprise" baby and was perfectly content for me not to be on BC. (I actually put myself on it because of my horrible periods).

On top of all that.... dh is a wonderful father. He loves the kids and would rather hang out with them than do anything else. He didnt think he wanted Matthew either. He adores that kid and has told me several times, "oh... you were completely right about Josh needing a brother. He would be really lonely without little Moo." Right now Matthew is sick. DH has sat with him on his lap for 2 days straight-- until he goes to work in the late afternoon. So... I think he's more nervous about how things will all work out than anything (and he likes spending money on the house and stuff HE likes!), but hey, I could be wrong too.

I hope you don't take this as me attacking you or defending anything because I'm not-- I'm really just thinking out loud here.

Anyway... thanks everyone!
 
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Old 11-24-08, 08:34 PM
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I have to say I know how you feel my husband wasnt in for it when we were trying for our first but now he says he wouldnt have it any other way and with my sec. preg. which i m/c was a mistake so i didnt have to try to talk him into wanting another baby i didnt have to get him in the "moment" to not pull out sorry if thats to much info but this time i want a baby so bad and i just told him it hurts me to know he don't want this i feel scared to tell him i think i'm pregnant i cant takl to him abou tanything but he finally told me that he thought about it and he is willing to try to have another baby wiht me but he don't want to do opk or bbt or any planning of ovulation or anything he just wants old fashioned if it happens it happens but what woman can set around and wait for that???? NOT ME...... you know it does make you feel a little better when youget that out but i hope everything works out with you guys and he will come around.
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Old 11-24-08, 09:46 PM
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Jeanne- I would never think you were attacking me. I have no doubt in the world that your DH is a wonderful father- and I am SURE that once you got pregnant he would be VERY excited! I am sure you guys will figure it all out- and I am sure that it is tough for your DH to watch you go through the disappointments of TTC- and I would be that's where his mixed feelings come from. I really hope you get that BFP that you want and am sure DH will be glad that you went through all of it.
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