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Old 07-10-11, 03:34 PM
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Default Coping

I need help/advice. After 2 1/2 years of trying to get pregnant unsuccessfully I am struggling with everyone else's pregnancy. It seems that now a majority of my friends have gotten pregnant or already had the baby. I don't know how to act. I want to be happy for them, but I feel like I can't. I love being around the babies, but I hate being around the pregnant people. Has anyone else had this problem? Each month of my failure is getting harder and harder to deal with everyone else's success...
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Old 07-10-11, 03:39 PM
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I know exactly what you are talking about.
Infertility definitely turned me into someone I didn't like very much, and I was very angry, jealous, and alone. None of my friends understood. My husband didn't even understand.
Can you plan something? Like a trip, or spa visit, or something that you couldn't do if you had a baby? That's what I did, to a certain extent. It was hard because the fertility treatments were also financially draining, but I tried very much to just do things that I liked doing and maybe couldn't do with a baby.
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Old 07-10-11, 05:36 PM
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Been there, done that. I tried to remove myself as much as possible from situations where I had to be around pregnant people. With casual acquaintances, it was easy to do. I had to be candid with close friends and tell them that I was very happy for them but was having some trouble being around them. Most people were very understanding.

I agree with Jeanne about being kind to yourself. Make sure you have plenty of opportunity to do the things you enjoy.
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Thank you rudolphia!
3Princes (07-10-11)
Old 07-11-11, 08:10 AM
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Yes I was in the same situation and it really sucked and it sucked the life out of me. I was not a very happy person and I basically refused to be around anyone that was pregnant for a long time especially after I had a miscarriage.

I was very open with family and friends though and told them that I wanted to be happy for them but it just hurt too much and I couldn't be around them often.

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Old 07-11-11, 05:54 PM
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Thanks ladies. It is nice knowing there is someone out there that has gone through the same thing. There is really no one that I know that understands this and how hard it is. And the ones that pretend that they do, will say something like, "I know, it took us 5 (or whatever #) months to get pregnant, it was so hard. They don't understand there is a difference between months and years, and on your own versus doing fertility treatments... I like the idea of doing something fun that I could do if I was pregnant, but I am not sure what to do, things would be more fun with friends, and like I said, most of them are pregnant or have a little one to take care of. There is also that problem of money like 3princes mentioned. The fertility treatments and doctor visits are definitely taking their toll. I just don't know how to keep staying sane during all of this, it is definitely emotionally draining, and I get so angry at everyone else's success and it makes it hard to stay out of a funk.
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