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Old 01-10-07, 11:48 PM
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Default Coping with Holidays

I know sometimes Christmas can be hard for those who are struggling with infertility. I myself had a nice few cries on the days leading up to Christmas.

I was searching the internet and found some suggestions for Mother's, and Father's day. I thought I would share.

Coping with Mother's Day and Father's Day
It can be particularly difficult to face the many emotional issues raised by infertility at a time when everyone is celebrating motherhood and fatherhood. RESOLVE urges men, women and couples who are experiencing infertility to plan ahead for Mother's Day and Father's Day, acknowledge their feelings and prepare themselves emotionally to handle questions and comments from family and friends.

"RESOLVE suggests the following to help with Mother's Day and Father's Day:

Take a Proactive Stance
Think ahead about the day and plan a strategy in advance. Don't wait until the holiday is upon you to make plans.

Focus on Your Parents/Grandparents or Special Parental Figure
Make this a special time for them. If a family gathering is planned and it will be pleasant for you, go and enjoy. But, if lots of children or pregnant relatives will be present, and you know this will be upsetting, consider other possibilities. You might plan to see your mother/father at another time during the weekend.

Recognize Potential Painful Situations
Restaurants, for example, may be a source of discomfort. They may ask if you are a mother or a father in order to give you a complimentary item. Be prepared for this question so you are not taken off-guard.

Speak to Your Minister or Rabbi
Before a religious service, talk with your clergyperson (or write a letter) and educate him/her about the experience of infertility. Perhaps he/she would be willing to say a prayer or offer words of support for those struggling with this crisis.

Plan an Enjoyable Day Together
It is important to work as a couple during these difficult days. Consider tuning out the holiday emphasis entirely and make it an opportunity for a fun day together plan a day outdoors to go hiking, bicycling, or walking on a beach. See that movie you've wanted to see or create a special meal.

For more information:
Call RESOLVE's National HelpLine @ 888-623-0744.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed by the holidays, whenever you need someone to talk to, our peer counselors will be happy to listen and to offer RESOLVE resources. Give us a call. You are not alone!

Letters to Clergy

Mother's and Father's Day 2003 chat transcript "
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Old 01-11-07, 05:23 AM
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is lovin her sweet baby girl
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Thanks Susanne
 


Personally stuff like doesn't get to me except for xmas 2005. I was very upset xmas morning but that was the first and last time. I just figure I can't change things - crying or getting upset won't get me what I want but I suppose its taken me a long time to feel this way.
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Old 01-11-07, 12:54 PM
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This is the 1st Christmas and New year that I haven't cried, I'm not sure if it was because I was ill or because I was too busy to get upset, or both. I also got Neil to wrap all the childrens presents this year, as this is almost always the tear-trigger for me.

Mothers Day, now that's a different matter - I'll just stay in bed!!!
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Old 01-11-07, 02:14 PM
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