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Old 07-18-08, 02:19 PM
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Default feeling selfish

Going to the fertility clinic always puts me in my place about thinking that it's not fair that I can't just get pg whenever I feel like it. We live an hour away so we had to take the boys up with us... and I just saw the looks on some of the ladies' faces looking at my boys, and I knew exactly how they felt. And I knew what they were thinking too.... "why does she get to have 2 kids and I have none?" And then here I am thinking I should be blessed a third time when they're all heading out with their paper bags full of injectibles and stuff.
Makes me
. Can ya tell it's been an emotional day?
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Old 07-18-08, 03:05 PM
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TTC is a hard journey! I felt the same way at my OB's getting my IUD out. There was this beautiful woman about my age that was there for an infertility appt and I'm sure she too walked out with a paper bag! I go to a high risk OB that has a lot of infertility patients. She smiled at me with my two girls and I could tell she was fighting back tears. I hope she gets exactly what I have, she's just on a different part of the path then I'm on. Its hard to see people ahead when you feel behind!

I've been visiting a neighbor that has little girls 10 1/2 months apart. She TTC for 7 yrs and her oldest was conceived with fertility meds. She got a surprise for #2! Hearing her journey has been incredible! Now she has two daughters when she thought she'd never have any and she's loosing her mind trying to take care of two babies at once! She keeps looking at my girls who developmentally are about 10 1/2 months apart and that gives her hope as she's in the throws of babyhood. Its all a journey, we're just on different parts of it! Its always hard to be where you are now looking at what you might have in the future!

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Thank you LAB!
3Princes (07-19-08)
Old 07-18-08, 03:10 PM
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I've been on both sides of this fence. And neither side is a picnic.

BTW - I also had this feeling when I was taking Brent to speech therapy and I was 8 months pregnant with Brooke. All these kids in wheelchairs and other very very tragic situations and here I'm sitting with my healthy 15 month old that's not talking but doing EVERYTHING else developmentally. I felt like such an A$$ at times.

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Thank you savannah33!
3Princes (07-19-08)
Old 07-18-08, 04:31 PM
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It's lovely and so refreshing to hear you thought about the other ladies feelings
But who was to know that your children weren't IVF children?

Lets face it, infertility isn't easy, and some things make it harder. For example one of our Specialist's offices is right opposite the door of the maternity unit. So we'd sit there watching all the new Mums come out with their babies. That was tough. Rubbed salt in the wounds for sure.

And when I had my investigative Laparoscopy to see why I hadn't got pregnant, I was in a ward with 3 other ladies who were having terminations, and discussing how easy it was.

It is hard being on this board sometimes, there are quite a few that are now TTCing #3 in the same time-frame (or less) than we've been TTCing #1, and some days it's tough, but then on other days it's good because I've picked up and learned a lot of info about TTC over the years, and so it's nice to think that I might be able to help.

I hope that your journey to have #3 has a happy ending very soon
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Thank you Tracey and Neil!
3Princes (07-19-08)
Old 07-18-08, 05:23 PM
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This site is so wonderful and I have only been on for a couple of days. Last week after I got my period and had had the positive EPT two days before I had to go teach a class in the pool across from a "mommy and me" class. Not only were there super cute babies in the pool with their mommies and daddies, one lady was also pregnant with her second. Needless to say it was a hard day, but I always just try to be happy for the other people even thought deep down I am jealous- how can I begrudge anyone their dream of having babies. It's also really hard as a special needs teacher when I work with kids that were born addicted to drugs or have shaken baby syndrome and kids whose moms have kid after kid after kid and who don't care about their kids. Things like this can get very difficult, but I have always been a positive person and I have to believe that my hubby and I will have a baby in our arms in the not too distant future. I also watched my sister go through infertility (3 rounds of IVF) and then give up because it was so difficult. They finally adopted and have two beautiful kids and it doesn't matter where they came from! No one should feel bad about the children they have or trying to have more. Especially if you've been on both sides, you understand the difficulties. Sounds like you are a pretty wonderful and compassionate person...I say just smile. You should be an inspiration to all!
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Thank you Mark'sbabygirl!
3Princes (07-19-08)
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