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o/t "side effect" of my IF treatment (long)

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Old 08-04-08, 01:17 PM
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Default o/t "side effect" of my IF treatment (long)

I'm a weird girl, I know this is true, but I always like to feel that when something happens to me that's not so great, I'm supposed to learn or gain something from it.... become a better person, ya know?
In fact, when I finally got pg with Josh, I was elated, but almost a little angry at God-- like "Why now? Why am I suddenly good enough to be pg?" Looking back, I really think I learned not to judge someone's actions unless I'm in their situation. When I had no clue I would have fertility problems, I had said "Oh, maybe I'll try clomid but that's it." In the end, I was ready to adopt, but I still would have done pretty much ANYTHING to experience pg.

This time around, I know what I'm learning! First of all, I'm learning to relax a little about letting people take the kids. I let my mom keep both boys (with help from her caregiver) for a few hours while I got my b/w and u/s. Also, I have used the time "waiting" to plan lots of fun stuff for the kids to do, and to reconnect with people I haven't seen for months or even years. I have seen a friend from high school, and another friend is coming over today to see Matthew for the first time! I have also been learning to reach out to people a little more. Whether or not I end up getting pg this time, I do know I've "grown" through it.
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Old 08-04-08, 06:09 PM
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Now that's the kind of side effect that isn't listed on the leaflet in the box

I know exactly what you mean, fertility treatment is a strange thing, I too have seen things in a differnt light through my journey. I think you've got the perfect attitude!
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Old 08-04-08, 09:05 PM
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What wonderful things you've learned! I'm just now starting to let go a little and my girls are 5 and 6 1/2! I left them with a "non family member" for the first time ever this month and it was great! Of course I've known her since we were 11 so that helps!

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Old 08-04-08, 10:45 PM
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You are very lucky to be taking the approach you are. I've seen some people come out of this stuff very bitter and have lost friends.

I think it's great!!!

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Old 08-05-08, 11:27 AM
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Oh... when I was ttc Josh I was a mess. It definitely turned me into a person I did not like. Even still, there are some things about myself I'm not proud of. Like how I still get this little "twinge" of anger/jeaolusy/sadness whatever-you-call-it when I hear someone got pg without even trying and starts joking about it. And how I still try to bring around the conversation (in real life) to how long somebody tried for their baby. I had to realize that those are the "normal" people, the ones who get pg relatively easily, and the way it should be, and *I* was the exception to the rule.
Although it is stressful because your ttc decisions can change the lives of your little ones, but really ttc when you already have a child is nowhere near the same... at least not for me.
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