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update on my sister (pg mentioned)

update on my sister (pg mentioned)

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  • Mary-Ellen Mary-Ellen's Avatar 11-22-04 | 03:41 AM

    Hi everyone,

    My sister had her twins on Nov. 3rd!!
    A boy and a girl. They were a month premature but both healthy and doing well. My sister had preeclampsia and hellp syndrome so she had been in the hospital for a week prior to the c/s. She is doing well now too.

    I spent a few days helping her out. It was great seeing how they each resemble my sister and her husband. They are so happy and in love with their babies.

    But... at the same time It hurt so bad.

    I feel SOOO guilty for thinking this way. I am truely happy for them, I am, but I also feel so empty when I think about how bad I want the same thing and how it seems so impossible for us right now.

    It's really magnified my own issues with infertility. I have never ever felt so blah, so sad and so angry before. I should be so happy for them and I think I must be selfish and self absorbed reacting to my sisters beautiful babies this way. I should be greateful for what I have in my life and not sulk and pout.

    Don't get me wrong. I am truely truely happy and excited for my sister, it took her many years to get pg herself. They derserve their happiness. It has just been difficult dealing with our IVF not working and our 3yr ttc mark is coming up next month too.

    I know I am going to love and adore my niece and nephew, I can't wait to watch them grow and start to show thier personalities.

    I just hope my own recent feelings about my infertility is a phase, just a short term reaction to it all and I hope it's temporary, or I am going to have to get some counselling or something.

    I know I can't be alone feeling this way. How did you all react when your siblings had their own children?
    (God I hope I am not alone on this one)

  • alla_pech 11-22-04 | 10:51 AM
  • You are definately not alone on this one.
    I have a cousin of mine, who is only few months older then me, and she now has 2 kids. Thankfully she lives far away and I don't ever see her.
    Locally, there is only really 2 couples among our friends( us and another couple) that don't have kids. And everytime we go see any of them, it really hurts. And everytime we leave, it's mostly silent in the car the whole way home, as both of us are saddened by the unfairness of our life.
    You are sooooo not alone in how you are feeling, unfortunately. I hope we are all blessed soon, and our dreams come true, and we will all be happy once again. I think it is long overdue, and we all so deserve it.
  • erinjj erinjj's Avatar 11-22-04 | 12:15 PM

    Don't beat yourself up MaryEllen.

    When my brother and his wife were pg I had a horrible time of it. I could hardly stand to be around them and didn't want to hear anything about the pgcy or the baby etc. After my DN was born I was fine around him, but I always had a harder time with big pg bellies than with babies.

    {{hugs}} Try to hang in there, it will be your turn soon!
  • Erinn Erinn's Avatar 11-22-04 | 02:21 PM

    You are not alone. It's so hard to have such mixed emotions (since your sister had a hard time too) - it might be even harder since your first IVF did not work. My sister got married last month and I had to ask her when they were going to start trying - it was so hard to even ask the question. She has to do some testing in January and won't know when they will start til April or so.

    I hope your turn comes very soon.
  • Tracey and Neil Tracey and Neil's Avatar 12-01-04 | 02:57 AM
  • You are not alone! Since TTC I have watched my SIL and her husband have twins, my BIL and his wife have another child and my other BIL and his wife have 3 children (all singletons). Also one of my closest friends ended her battle with IF and was blessed with a son, combine that with numerous other PG's from colleagues and friends.

    Each time I have struggled with balancing my own feelings. How can you feel happy for someone, but jealous at the same time, well it's possible.

    I too hope your turn comes very soon too ((hugz))

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