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BD stress --- warning TMI Print Version

Oreo 09-09-06 09:35 PM

BD stress --- warning TMI
This is really personal, so don't laugh too hard (please).

But, I have to ask, do any of your DH's or partners get stressed out when TTC/BDing?
My DH is getting so stressed about "working on the clock" and "being on call" that along with other issues (medical) getting the job done is tricky. Does anyone else hate trying to make a baby? It is rapidly becoming miserable.

Any ideas, please help. And, not to be mean, but relaxing and having fun and all the stuff that regular sex is, doesn't apply well here.


Saira 09-09-06 11:29 PM

We TTC #1 for a year on our own before finding out Dh had no sperm. We BD every other day for the better part of that year. And YES we both got stressed and it was miserable. It got to where I'd call him in for a quicky. Let him do his thing then I'd lay there with my rear in the air while he went and read a book or played on the computer. It was not the highlight of our marriage.

I totally understand what your going through. Sex isn't fun anymore, it's a chore. Your challenge is to make work fun. The only thing I could suggest is if you have a good idea of when your O'ing, then make sex off limits the rest of the month except for 2-3 days around when you O.

A starving man eats with much enthusiam while a full man has no want of food.

You could make it a game and torment him through out the month. Wearing his favorite outfit or something really sexy. Changing clothes in another room so he only gets a tiny peek. Go buy a corset, whipped cream, naked twister, or try out some role playing. Find your inner dominatrix. :lol: The idea is make the whole month leading up to it forplay and he's not allowed past 1st base. It may help to not tell him what your doing, or when your ovulating, but I know that's a tall order.

Another thing that worked for a while with us to put this in a way so that noone thinks less of me or is offended..............

O.K. let's just say combine the periodic celebacy/torment thing with oral pleasuring that doesn't get fulfilled. Do it to the point he's almost ready to...well, you know, then pause wait till he's breathing normal then repeat 3 or 4 times. Look at it as polishing your technique. By the end of it he'll be begging and the making a baby part of it wil be completely out of his head. Jump on top and he'll think he's the luckiest guy on the planet. This will lose effectiveness in time, but it's good for those days when he's not "up" to the task.

Hope I've not offended anyone, just trying to help out.

BnBMommy 09-09-06 11:56 PM

:laughing: You crack me up...I could have written parts of your post Saira... ;) The top part that is... I love this place, noone is afraid to speak their mind :)

I know exactly what you mean, it is becoming a chore and sucks. But I guess after we all get our :bfp: we will look back and think it was all worth it. Goodluck trying to find something to make it less stressful, I know we are still looking!

nisey79 09-10-06 01:29 AM

I understand the not fun and stressful part. DH admitted this week that he just wants to have fun that focusing on BDing all the time takes all the fun out of it. I agree. And who ever says just relax and it'll happen is an idiot. It doesn't work that way! We've been trying to TTC #1 for over a year now. I'm at the point where sometimes I just want to give up.

Oreo 09-10-06 08:55 AM

Thanks girls!! I appreciate that you are so willing to share. Siara, I love your ideas and do already use many of them. I wish teasing him for the better part of a month were an option, but I only get the goods the week of O. The rest of the month, I'm the one who has to beg for it.
DH has serious back issues and he is on a anti-depressant due to the constant pain that causes stress and depression because the pain never goes away. The meds seiously reduce any sex drive. So.....
At least I feel better now that I know I'm not alone. I hope you ladies can manage to have some fun, too!
BTW--- my oral technique is dang good!!!! :)