I don't know
if anyone checks this board regularly, but I just have to get all this off my chest... I'm currently going through my fourth early miscarriage (5.5 weeks or earlier). I just feel horrible today... I had a terrible dream that I was reading a book called "It's My Fault the Baby Died", my mom chose to scold me for not taking my kids to church this morning, and
DH is trying to be wonderful but he obviously doesn't feel it as hard as I do. I just feel broken. My heart is broken and I feel like my body is broken. My baby is dead, and I just want the whole world to stop and not expect me to act normal... but I purposely didn't tell people I was pregnant this time, and so almost no one even knows what I'm going through. Those who do don't seem to think it's that big of a deal, I guess because it was so early and because I've already done this three times. Like that would make a difference. And even a part of myself thinks I'm being selfish. I have a good friend who lost a baby at 14 weeks last year; and here I am feeling bad for myself for losing one at just 4 weeks. I'm not sure what to do about trying again... I have two beautiful children, so I know my body is obviously capable, but I just don't want to go through this every month... I don't know whether to keep trying, wait a while, or what. My whole life, my job and the groups I'm involved in and all my friends, everything is about pregnancy and birth and babies. I can't get away from it. It's just almost too much to even go through my normal life when I'm hurting this bad and wanting something that I apparently can't have right now.
Another miscarriage 
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