Does anyone else have their mom or some other close female relative that watches their child?

My mom watches Kendall while I workm M-F 7:30-5:15ish. It has been a blessing- love knowing who is watching her, she is being loved & played with, and we are saving a boatload of $$. (I pay my mom, but about half of what I would have paid for a newborn at a daycare center) Dh & I always said that after she turned 1 we would look into placing her in daycare so she can be socialized & such. When she was about 6 months, I still couldn't think about placing her anywhere but my moms. When Kendall was about 7.5 months, my mom also started caring for another baby that is 4 months younger than Kendall.

Fast foward to now: Kendall is almost 10 months, crawls everywhere & gets into everything! My parents have not really baby-proofed, so Kendall hears "No....don't touch that" A LOT. My mom seems exhausted now when I go pick up Kendall & has said that watching the 2 kids has been harder than she thought. The litle boy's mom is a teacher, so once school is out for the summer, she will be staying at home with the baby & it will just be my mom & Kendall again. My mom doesn't know if when school starts up again in the fall if the little boy will be back or not.

So, should I save $$ & keep Kendall with my mom? Or start calling daycares now & getting prices, tours, etc?? I hate to think that all day long she is told "no!" and at daycare the only things she will be able to get into are the stuff she is allowed to! But I alsp don't want to hurt my mom's feelings. I am pretty sure I had told from the beginning about the plan for socialization at a daycare center, not sure if she remembers though. If I keep Kendall for a day b/c I took off work, my parents miss her & get so excited the next morning when they see her again.
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My Family
G & S-married 8.9.2003
Our dog Skyy, born in July 2006
DD Kendall, born 7.14.2008


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I would talk to your mom to see how she feels about it. If you start talking about daycare without expressing how you feel first...she might think she's done something wrong.

My parents watch Avery a lot in the evenings when Mike and I are at work... there is no way I would have Avery in daycare. I would totally keep her with family, even if she is told no. She will learn what she can and cannot touch eventually.

What a tough spot. Aislinn has been with my parents 3 days a week since she was an infant. My parents did prepare the house for her, although it doesn't look like an infant classroom.

You do have a valid point about the constant "no", though. THat stresses the interactions and relationship between the two of them, at a time when her social-emotional task is to build trust. Though it may seem innocuous, it can have an impact on how she interacts with others in any environment.
However, the trade-off is the one-one on loving attention she gets from someone you couldn't possibly know better or trust more. If you still think you want to place her in a facility, consider a LICENSED family child care home. Their ratios and group sizes tend to be smaller and it has a home-like atmosphere. Despite the issue I have with Aislinn's FCC provider, I think it was the best introduction to out-of-home care for her.

I do think that there is a point when daycare is more beneficial than home care but I am not sure you have reached it; present pediatric philosophy seems to be that point is reached around 2. You are the mom though and you are the best judge for your child's needs.

I kept Alexa at home for 18 months with a nanny I knew for a long time, she was my assistant at work and almost a family member. I created a home environment that would probably be the envy of most daycares. At 18 months I started noticing that despite everything she was bored and needed more than 1 on 1 care .

My advice is to discuss openly with your mom and look into homeproofing solutions. If that is not possible I guess daycare is your only solution as toddlers need to explore in a safe environment. It may take you months to find a suitable daycare, my search was very long.

Good luck with your decision!.