Many issues surround the use of Donor Insemination (DI). One of the most contested issues is that of disclosure vs. non-disclosure.
You've decided that DI is the best option for you to build your family. Now comes another decision -- perhaps the toughest decision you've had to make to date. Should you keep DI a secret from your child, friends and relatives?
For many, the answer is yes. Many people are not convinced that there are enough compelling reasons to tell their child or others of their child's DI origins. Many believe they can keep this secret and it is the best thing for their child. Their reasons are varied. Many do not want the males infertility known to others. However, protecting the child does seem to be the most common reason. Non-disclosure is viewed as a way to spare their child any hurt or confusion about their background and avoid any discrimination they may face from others in the future.
Others see disclosure as a way of burdening the child, particularly if not much information is available about the donor. They worry that the child may feel need to find out about his or her genetics when no information is available. Also of concern is the child rejecting their father because he is not their biological father.
No matter how certain you are of your choice, you need to find ways to deal with situations that may arise. You can not forget that you chose DI. Be prepared for times when your child may ask you questions that you can not give an honest answer to. After all, your child is assuming a shared genetic background with both of you.
If knowledge of the procedure is concealed there is always the risk that the truth will eventually be disclosed, causing the child to feel betrayed. There are expert opinions in favor of as well as against disclosing this fact to the child.
In the end, you need to make the decision that you feel is best for your family.
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